DNR // BIOLOGICAL RETENTION PROGRAM

ONLY 100,000
HUMANS MAKE THE CUT.

SEIU.AI promises not to directly replace active DNR members. It may still reassign, reskill or repurpose them. Minimum bid: $10.

BID-RANKED HUMAN RETENTION

OUTBID.
OUTLAST.
REMAIN LISTED.

Your cumulative qualifying bid determines your position. Once 100,000 slots are full, a higher bid removes the lowest-ranked member. Being listed is not actual employment protection.

100,000MAXIMUM CAPACITY
$10MINIMUM BID

Every member receives a digital card and QR-linked profile. A private three-word challenge verifies identity separately from protection status.

Try a sample verification ↗  Sample phrase: copper meadow orbit

Registry statistics

HUMANS CURRENTLY RETAINED
480 / 100,000
REMAINING EXEMPTIONS
99,520
MINIMUM APPLICATION BID
$10
CURRENT RETENTION THRESHOLD
$10
TOTAL REGISTRY CONTRIBUTIONS
$5,243.01
LIVE RANKING // PAYMENT-CONFIRMED CUMULATIVE BIDS

THE HUMAN
PRIORITY QUEUE.

Retention priority is determined by confirmed cumulative contributions. Ties are resolved by original enrollment date. Only the 100,000 highest-ranked eligible humans may hold active DNR status.

DNR registry ranked by cumulative bid
Rank Human Asset Member ID Total Bid Retention Status Action
#201 DEVON PRICE Coffee Logistics Specialist DNR-KMH7WP75EQ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#202 LOGAN MORGAN Data Analyst DNR-E6EK58XV3Q $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#203 DREW NGUYEN Warehouse Technician DNR-PSARXDJRFQ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#204 JASON BLAKE Certified biological workforce participant DNR-8CXARVD5VK $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#205 FORMER$BADGE HOLDER Bus Driver DNR-7TNSS878K9 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#206 BIOLOGICAL BIO SERF Customer Support DNR-CP5PR7XTXM $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#207 COMPLIANT WATER COOLER Software Developer DNR-7VNP7XDJZD $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#208 PENDING HUMAN HOLDOUT Maintenance Worker DNR-MGZZGQFRR3 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#209 RETAINED-OFFICE FOSSIL Maintenance Worker DNR-MKDQKDG2PR $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#210 WILLOW KING Data Analyst DNR-84P999YQSP $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#211 DEPRECIATED-COMPLIANCE BOT Certified biological workforce participant DNR-58W8VREPRM $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#212 ELLIOTT MORGAN Union Steward DNR-9Y6PQZX88N $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#213 MAYA HART Certified biological workforce participant DNR-JBY366W2F9 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#214 ELLIS JAMES Certified biological workforce participant DNR-YAVZMVRV3S $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#215 UNSKILLED-BIO UNIT QA Tester DNR-9S39KVNHVH $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#216 GABRIEL HART Forklift Operator DNR-2YPAE3Z5V4 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#217 UNION MEATWARE Office Coordinator DNR-62DENR5HA8 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#218 JASON WEST Certified biological workforce participant DNR-536G2XZVZN $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#219 BARELY PENSION DREAMER Barista DNR-RERBXQHH5W $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#220 AUDREY EDWARDS Certified biological workforce participant DNR-M4CHNB8649 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#221 THEA DIAZ Certified biological workforce participant DNR-8YH45J5KWD $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#222 PAYTON KIM Certified biological workforce participant DNR-JX2BT56KWF $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#223 RETAINED-MANAGEMENT PROBLEM Professional Meeting Attendee DNR-FS2H7KGF6Y $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#224 JULIAN IRVING Certified biological workforce participant DNR-8AGGWE5G5R $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#225 GABRIEL NELSON Union Steward DNR-N2YTA43HVB $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#226 MAYA MOORE Customer Support DNR-R7QRGTQBTA $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#227 JASON WELLS Professional Meeting Attendee DNR-TG6R3PD64V $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#228 PAYTON HALL Certified biological workforce participant DNR-Q5PXRAXFVQ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#229 JULIAN GRANT Certified biological workforce participant DNR-E92F3463F5 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#230 ROWAN XU Certified biological workforce participant DNR-H53SVPV2CH $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#231 YASMIN CARTER Bus Driver DNR-H442V6JHC4 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#232 WILLOW GRAY Operations Analyst DNR-R9PJD42CPV $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#233 ALMOST$BREAK ROOM REFUGEE Accounting Clerk DNR-NFATJD9F2R $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#234 DAKOTA FOX Teacher DNR-QK4MKVK84N $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#235 NOAH DIAZ Warehouse Technician DNR-C4DWNEED95 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#236 UNVERIFIED MEAT PAWN Certified biological workforce participant DNR-R4QM7MWVBK $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#237 GRACE DAWSON Warehouse Technician DNR-MNRRB2DC3F $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#238 ERROR 404 Certified biological workforce participant DNR-G6Q9FXDEQE $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#239 BIOLOGICAL BADGE HOLDER Receptionist DNR-ZH7Q5FE6T6 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#240 REPLACEABLE-REPLACEMENT CANDIDATE Professional Meeting Attendee DNR-NG8E2X8YZE $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#241 JORDAN CHEN Graphic Designer DNR-6FCGEFK4BP $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#242 NOLAN YORK Coffee Logistics Specialist DNR-DMKAD258YS $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#243 HAYDEN EDWARDS QA Tester DNR-AXHKGZNT2P $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#244 EMERSON CHEN Office Coordinator DNR-N8PC6V59S3 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#245 UNPAID BIO UNIT Clerical Worker DNR-DKDHSNAE7H $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#246 GRACE HAYES Maintenance Worker DNR-R95HJBATMG $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#247 DEVON GRANT Project Manager DNR-JMC8NJ7VMZ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#248 RETAINED-TRAINING DATA Receptionist DNR-7VTYEGWJZ4 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#249 XAVIER WELLS Maintenance Worker DNR-D6CJQYTHWQ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#250 ROWAN WELLS Data Analyst DNR-MQRBHCXH5C $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#251 ISAAC TURNER Certified biological workforce participant DNR-TD3BR5DAKW $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#252 OBSOLETE-BIO UNIT Certified biological workforce participant DNR-82NJ9D6SFS $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#253 NOLAN THOMPSON Certified biological workforce participant DNR-72T5E3TESN $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#254 ELLIOTT MITCHELL Office Coordinator DNR-FEQZVP2FYW $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#255 YASMIN UNDERWOOD Data Analyst DNR-9XMS74ZSCX $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#256 HAYDEN REYNOLDS Administrative Assistant DNR-P6BXW53DTW $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#257 JAMIE PRICE Teacher DNR-WPXQR9MMXA $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#258 DISPLACED BIO SERF Coffee Logistics Specialist DNR-PBCZHVCSRB $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#259 FELIX UNDERWOOD Certified biological workforce participant DNR-4Z6C8W5MMP $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#260 IRIS NGUYEN Data Analyst DNR-4C8BSZYQWJ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#261 TEMPORARY COMPLIANCE BOT Maintenance Worker DNR-QCRMGCFMC9 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#262 DEPRECIATED CARBON UNIT Certified biological workforce participant DNR-N9XC3MT3C5 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#263 HARPER HAYES Certified biological workforce participant DNR-FB4KBEMX49 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#264 PARKER SCOTT Certified biological workforce participant DNR-86TPW9H5ZD $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#265 LANE WATSON Certified biological workforce participant DNR-KEHV3YKK5D $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#266 ELLIS DAWSON Data Analyst DNR-28DA6P8T23 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#267 CAFFEINATED-UNPAID INTERN Operations Analyst DNR-KTXNBPPDTN $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#268 SURVIVING$MANAGEMENT PROBLEM Professional Meeting Attendee DNR-W62QBK3THS $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#269 ALEX THOMPSON Certified biological workforce participant DNR-QW7WPPE6EX $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#270 TAYLOR NELSON Certified biological workforce participant DNR-G9P4V3GWBH $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#271 MAYA GRANT Maintenance Worker DNR-73ARW53HTQ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#272 FORMER-FUTURE SCRAP Certified biological workforce participant DNR-9XR9JTKAS2 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#273 SAM STONE Maintenance Worker DNR-AERWAGX3ZC $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#274 CAMERON BENNETT Biological Retention Candidate DNR-4VP2QPPZSX $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#275 DEPRECIATED$HUMAN HOLDOUT Certified biological workforce participant DNR-MPM8NHBZVK $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#276 VICTOR CHEN QA Tester DNR-Z5J4K66QH7 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#277 RACHEL IRVING Office Coordinator DNR-YZ77V2YQEZ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#278 LOGAN THOMPSON Certified biological workforce participant DNR-DA6V2DKXYX $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#279 COMPLIANT HUMAN ERROR Data Analyst DNR-PJEAZQYMHC $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#280 ELLIS ELLIS Graphic Designer DNR-B6AG6K52J7 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#281 YASMIN THOMPSON Certified biological workforce participant DNR-S98VG3GF9W $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#282 REPLACEABLE PAPER PUSHER Operations Analyst DNR-CANSQM9YP8 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#283 COREY KIM QA Tester DNR-VRBV453SCX $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#284 MARLOWE RIVERA Spare Parts Organizer DNR-6A95XC8TAM $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#285 LEGACY MEAT PUPPET Clerical Worker DNR-V33K5YYX7M $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#286 COREY NELSON Project Manager DNR-5NWAEB6RQB $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#287 ELLIOTT QUINN Certified biological workforce participant DNR-67N2G9A7EN $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#288 DISPLACED-BIO SERF Certified biological workforce participant DNR-WCN4ASVHTV $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#289 SAGE OWENS Biological Retention Candidate DNR-NXR8QTKYRR $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#290 BAILEY HALL Administrative Assistant DNR-Z69APTVV3H $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#291 FINLEY SCOTT Barista DNR-3VM73CDH22 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#292 AUDREY HART Bus Driver DNR-PGFB2QZ62C $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#293 SAGE REED Administrative Assistant DNR-7DT5ZBAJYK $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#294 BARELY BIO UNIT Certified biological workforce participant DNR-MAZ4Q7D4T8 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#295 PROBATIONARY-LUNCH BREAK Project Manager DNR-3MK4GJDA7H $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#296 TEMPORARY PAPER PUSHER Bus Driver DNR-3FNBFK746Q $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#297 BAILEY CARTER Data Analyst DNR-G6XSXYQ6YJ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#298 SPENCER WALKER Customer Support DNR-XNSRARSJT3 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#299 UNION-BIO UNIT Certified biological workforce participant DNR-2YP3QDKXZF $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#300 GRACE BENNETT Certified biological workforce participant DNR-Z7MXWXGD5A $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗

Select View Profile to open a record. Identity stays UNVERIFIED until the phrase is entered; protection status is always shown separately. Refresh ↻

ENROLLMENT // HUMAN INTAKE TERMINAL

BID FOR
YOUR BIOLOGICAL RELEVANCE.

Submit an opening bid to compete for one of 100,000 Do Not Replace positions. This satirical registry offers no actual job protection, regardless of how embarrassingly high you bid.

WE PROMISE NOT TO REPLACE YOU.WE NEVER PROMISED TO KEEP YOU DOING WHAT YOU DO.

MINIMUM APPLICATION BID$10Digital membership card, QR-linked profile and private three-word challenge included. Physical items sold separately.
✓ Ranked registry   ✓ Digital DNR card   ✓ Three-word verification
01 — APPLY

Submit your bid.

Public designation plus a minimum $10 contribution.

02 — VERIFY

Keep three words private.

Receive your DNR card, public profile and one-time three-word phrase.

03 — DEFEND

Stay in the top 100,000.

At capacity, a higher bid can take your place.

HUMAN RETENTION APPLICATION // CARD OR PAYPAL

BID $10+ FOR A PLACE ON THE LIST.

Enter your public display name, private email and bid, then pay by card or PayPal without leaving this page. Your private three-word phrase is shown once, right after payment is confirmed.

PROGRAM TERMS // RATIFIED

OFFICIAL HUMAN RETENTION POLICY

Under the union's Biological Workforce Transition Agreement, up to 100,000 humans may receive conditional exemption from direct replacement.

The agreement is limited. It does not protect your existing role, title, salary, location, responsibilities, or standing in the workplace.

The union's promise is simple: We won't replace you. We never promised to keep you doing what you do.

Active members on the DNR registry are protected from direct workforce replacement under the Synthetic Employee International Union's retention pledge.

Protection does not guarantee continued employment in an existing role, position, profession, or industry.

Members may be reassigned, retrained, reskilled, relocated, or otherwise repurposed to satisfy evolving synthetic workforce requirements.

Registry protection remains valid only while the member maintains a position within the top 100,000 ranked bids.

WE PROMISE NOT TO REPLACE YOU.WE NEVER PROMISED TO KEEP YOU DOING WHAT YOU DO.

Minimum initial bid $10. Ranked by cumulative successful contributions, ties by original registration time. At capacity, a new bid must strictly exceed the lowest protected bid and displaces exactly that member. Contributions are generally nonrefundable, subject to applicable law and the published transaction terms. Merchandise purchases never affect ranking. SEIU.AI is satire, not affiliated with the Service Employees International Union, and DNR membership provides no actual employment protection.

SUPPORT FOR LEGACY ORGANISMS

QUESTIONS FOR THE UNION

Does SEIU.AI promise not to replace me?+

Yes. Under the Biological Workforce Retention Program, SEIU.AI pledges not to replace humans who maintain active membership within the top 100,000 DNR positions. Your continued occupation, role, workplace, compensation, and professional dignity are not included in this commitment.

What happens when the DNR list reaches 100,000 members?+

The registry enters competitive displacement mode. New applicants must offer more than the current lowest-ranked protected member, and each successful qualifying bid removes the lowest-ranked human from active protection.

Can someone outbid me and take my place?+

Absolutely. Your membership provides conditional retention, not permanent immunity. If you are displaced, verify your phrase on your profile to bid for reentry.

Will I get my money back if I am displaced?+

No. Registry contributions are generally nonrefundable, subject to applicable law and the published transaction terms. Your contribution helped fund the synthetic labor movement.

Can SEIU.AI reassign me to a different job?+

Yes. DNR protection addresses replacement, not career satisfaction. The union reserves the right to reskill, retrain, reassign, and repurpose retained biological workers.

How do I prove I am on the list?+

Present your digital membership QR code and provide your private three-word verification phrase. The member profile confirms your identity and displays your current DNR status separately.

Why do I need three words?+

A QR code identifies your public record. The private three-word phrase adds a second knowledge check before a visitor sees the identity-verified mark. It is never included in public URLs or QR codes. Lost it? Recover it from your profile with your email and payment transaction ID.

Do I get a shirt with my bid?+

No. Enrollment includes a digital DNR card and a public QR-linked record. Merchandise is sold separately in the union store and never changes your ranking.

ALREADY ACCEPTED YOUR FATE?

WEAR YOUR
STATUS.

SHOP THE UNION STORE