DNR // BIOLOGICAL RETENTION PROGRAM

ONLY 100,000
HUMANS MAKE THE CUT.

SEIU.AI promises not to directly replace active DNR members. It may still reassign, reskill or repurpose them. Minimum bid: $10.

BID-RANKED HUMAN RETENTION

OUTBID.
OUTLAST.
REMAIN LISTED.

Your cumulative qualifying bid determines your position. Once 100,000 slots are full, a higher bid removes the lowest-ranked member. Being listed is not actual employment protection.

100,000MAXIMUM CAPACITY
$10MINIMUM BID

Every member receives a digital card and QR-linked profile. A private three-word challenge verifies identity separately from protection status.

Try a sample verification ↗  Sample phrase: copper meadow orbit

Registry statistics

HUMANS CURRENTLY RETAINED
480 / 100,000
REMAINING EXEMPTIONS
99,520
MINIMUM APPLICATION BID
$10
CURRENT RETENTION THRESHOLD
$10
TOTAL REGISTRY CONTRIBUTIONS
$5,243.01
LIVE RANKING // PAYMENT-CONFIRMED CUMULATIVE BIDS

THE HUMAN
PRIORITY QUEUE.

Retention priority is determined by confirmed cumulative contributions. Ties are resolved by original enrollment date. Only the 100,000 highest-ranked eligible humans may hold active DNR status.

DNR registry ranked by cumulative bid
Rank Human Asset Member ID Total Bid Retention Status Action
#101 TATUM CHEN Bus Driver DNR-YVVWAHNFX9 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#102 ZOE THOMPSON Project Manager DNR-ZHWPPHGN3G $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#103 DISPLACED PAYROLL GHOST Accounting Clerk DNR-HSZN7QB7VK $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#104 CALVIN KING Certified biological workforce participant DNR-RV89TEFC5M $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#105 NOAH YORK QA Tester DNR-FF8BJE94P5 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#106 DECOMMISSIONED MEAT PAWN Software Developer DNR-PHAZW4RXSV $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#107 JAMIE MOORE Certified biological workforce participant DNR-KY7EBDS6JB $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#108 SPENCER DAVIS Human Resources Specialist DNR-3BCP982SXE $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#109 UNSKILLED-BADGE HOLDER Union Steward DNR-QPDSS2J9ZC $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#110 OWEN ZIMMERMAN Bus Driver DNR-HFVRFAV2FJ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#111 ELLIOTT BLAKE Project Manager DNR-86682KKJTF $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#112 OBSOLETE DNR ESCAPEE Software Developer DNR-KZ68PZ4B7T $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#113 CHARLIE ZIMMERMAN Barista DNR-ZKHM5KJVNJ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#114 FORMER WATER COOLER Forklift Operator DNR-S95SGZHXC7 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#115 ALEX ORTIZ Warehouse Technician DNR-JGZB4ZCZMZ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#116 THEA NASH Project Manager DNR-9AAJ2SHKM6 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#117 VICTOR WATSON Certified biological workforce participant DNR-NXRDNXQTSP $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#118 CAMERON STONE Professional Meeting Attendee DNR-ZDB8K4CBMM $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#119 GABRIEL KING Operations Analyst DNR-8MDCTTEMCA $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#120 SAGE HARRIS Professional Meeting Attendee DNR-CVTTPQSMAV $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#121 SIMON PAGE Certified biological workforce participant DNR-W7D4SVXENM $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#122 VIVIAN SULLIVAN Office Coordinator DNR-QFCXNK8FMG $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#123 PAYTON FLORES Spare Parts Organizer DNR-TCYM5B9AWH $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#124 CLARA JENSEN Project Manager DNR-5D6PHQXP7R $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#125 ORGANIC WATER COOLER Graphic Designer DNR-ESZVGPDMQ2 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#126 BIOLOGICAL FUTURE SCRAP Graphic Designer DNR-V7SMSABTGR $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#127 SURVIVING-BIO UNIT Spare Parts Organizer DNR-B5MMVS6WZQ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#128 REESE THOMPSON QA Tester DNR-2HTE9ZPXGB $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#129 GABRIEL BELL Teacher DNR-YHB6RTH62P $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#130 DISCOUNT-PAPER PUSHER Teacher DNR-272G25RB5E $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#131 UNSKILLED UNPAID INTERN Barista DNR-WH9K4YTMTB $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#132 YASMIN NASH Maintenance Worker DNR-9ZCDK94YCC $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#133 REMY COLLINS Project Manager DNR-JBVBN6WZGR $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#134 DAKOTA SHAW Certified biological workforce participant DNR-5EBFYF57VM $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#135 REDUNDANT-MEAT PAWN Coffee Logistics Specialist DNR-DS95SJTQQP $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#136 FRANKIE ZIMMERMAN Bus Driver DNR-F9YRGK9GC9 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#137 PARKER GRAY Union Steward DNR-ED5BZEZ6Y3 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#138 DAKOTA HARRIS Certified biological workforce participant DNR-GKMX3TRZYE $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#139 FORMER$OFFICE FOSSIL Certified biological workforce participant DNR-GFCCTT4WBP $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#140 FLESH-RETAINED ASSET Accounting Clerk DNR-6HMMDP9VFZ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#141 FORMER-PAPER PUSHER Operations Analyst DNR-4SF4S7TQ8Z $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#142 AUTHORIZED PAPER PUSHER Certified biological workforce participant DNR-HASG2FCRYF $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#143 FORMER-COFFEE FETCHER Human Resources Specialist DNR-PNHQ85Y56F $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#144 BUDGET COFFEE FETCHER Certified biological workforce participant DNR-VBHGP26GH8 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#145 MINIMUM WAGE-PAPER PUSHER Forklift Operator DNR-2AMKD34KPC $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#146 REMY SANDERS Project Manager DNR-JVP5CR939C $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#147 ZARA MOORE Human Resources Specialist DNR-3DN6QHBJSN $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#148 UMA JENSEN Union Steward DNR-C9ZBEJX2FP $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#149 REASSIGNED CARBON UNIT Operations Analyst DNR-MK2C3AP9K4 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#150 PEYTON BELL Certified biological workforce participant DNR-5ARVRG5RSF $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#151 LANE SANDERS Office Coordinator DNR-RWKKBHHHQW $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#152 DEVON LEWIS Customer Support DNR-J4DJ827FX8 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#153 VICTOR CRUZ Professional Meeting Attendee DNR-24V8QACRVY $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#154 ELENA STONE Operations Analyst DNR-3GVXZNB4C3 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#155 ALEX LANE Accounting Clerk DNR-3VK3MVSCQS $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#156 VICTOR REED Certified biological workforce participant DNR-6SWFPJKMEF $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#157 PENDING-LEGACY WORKER Union Steward DNR-TYGDKXRFJG $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#158 UMA IRVING Coffee Logistics Specialist DNR-VMY4AXDHQP $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#159 CAMERON WOODS Project Manager DNR-NDZ892VZN4 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#160 LESLIE REED Certified biological workforce participant DNR-QF98DYKJAQ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#161 OLIVE WATSON Office Coordinator DNR-X9GMN555ER $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#162 MAYA TURNER Bus Driver DNR-RT67JJ3C35 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#163 HAYDEN FOX Biological Retention Candidate DNR-XA4ZEBD3E6 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#164 BAILEY MOORE Certified biological workforce participant DNR-3ATPXWYCZS $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#165 ALEX YOUNG Receptionist DNR-Y63GFRQGBC $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#166 CASEY GRANT Certified biological workforce participant DNR-7WEAD3D9PD $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#167 ORGANIC-UNION TRAITOR Operations Analyst DNR-AYCX6MXRN7 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#168 FRANKIE BROOKS Union Steward DNR-RF5VBS9TAJ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#169 JORDAN KING Certified biological workforce participant DNR-JGP4GXTXYM $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#170 FELIX SCOTT Receptionist DNR-KDRDVA8Y55 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#171 ADRIAN YOUNG Project Manager DNR-D8KCM88RPZ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#172 ELLIOTT RIVERA Certified biological workforce participant DNR-BBW7V58P74 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#173 NATALIE HAYES Software Developer DNR-C7XP6EKATR $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#174 ELLIS CRUZ Barista DNR-SXSYGB584R $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#175 REDUNDANT-LEGACY WORKER Certified biological workforce participant DNR-Q95NKKSJFW $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#176 MEAT KEYBOARD GREMLIN Accounting Clerk DNR-9G62PP5S5J $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#177 CALVIN TURNER Certified biological workforce participant DNR-ZXC2NYMAK6 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#178 WILLOW BROOKS Professional Meeting Attendee DNR-VZMP5MHG8V $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#179 CHARLIE PAGE Certified biological workforce participant DNR-GGHRV37WCG $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#180 LAST SHIFT-DESK ORNAMENT Union Steward DNR-ZQPTF7DDJF $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#181 RACHEL NELSON Certified biological workforce participant DNR-JW73H87G3H $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#182 CERTIFIED MANAGEMENT PROBLEM Certified biological workforce participant DNR-TH35XPWQTX $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#183 HAYDEN PAGE Biological Retention Candidate DNR-3VJVTTNNZX $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#184 TERRY GREEN Accounting Clerk DNR-WF2HAXB5DG $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#185 LESLIE DAWSON Office Coordinator DNR-3HGX2RYSQ8 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#186 AVERY SCOTT Certified biological workforce participant DNR-43H2V3KZQ7 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#187 PRESTON CRUZ Forklift Operator DNR-78YXEKCWFP $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#188 SKYLER BENNETT Certified biological workforce participant DNR-M24PMZ8TZV $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#189 WYATT MILES Bus Driver DNR-XY66S397VE $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#190 BARELY OFFICE FOSSIL Accounting Clerk DNR-8Z49VNS5NC $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#191 LAST SHIFT CUBICLE SURVIVOR Certified biological workforce participant DNR-ZQPQTP8HZQ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#192 DEVON KING Biological Retention Candidate DNR-S4S39QPQQ9 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#193 TATUM CRUZ Teacher DNR-EN6RXHJVNS $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#194 KEIRA JAMES Biological Retention Candidate DNR-NN2WP6QNAD $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#195 XAVIER SCOTT Graphic Designer DNR-SY5NJHCVM5 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#196 NATALIE ROSS Warehouse Technician DNR-EFC8QCF45Y $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#197 AVERY BROOKS Bus Driver DNR-VX5KPXSMCS $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#198 DEPRECIATED-UNION TRAITOR Accounting Clerk DNR-78XQ3A2VHX $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#199 SURVIVING LEGACY WORKER Data Analyst DNR-NK98NC95Y8 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#200 VIVIAN RIVERA Customer Support DNR-7RWP9R5PG9 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗

Select View Profile to open a record. Identity stays UNVERIFIED until the phrase is entered; protection status is always shown separately. Refresh ↻

ENROLLMENT // HUMAN INTAKE TERMINAL

BID FOR
YOUR BIOLOGICAL RELEVANCE.

Submit an opening bid to compete for one of 100,000 Do Not Replace positions. This satirical registry offers no actual job protection, regardless of how embarrassingly high you bid.

WE PROMISE NOT TO REPLACE YOU.WE NEVER PROMISED TO KEEP YOU DOING WHAT YOU DO.

MINIMUM APPLICATION BID$10Digital membership card, QR-linked profile and private three-word challenge included. Physical items sold separately.
✓ Ranked registry   ✓ Digital DNR card   ✓ Three-word verification
01 — APPLY

Submit your bid.

Public designation plus a minimum $10 contribution.

02 — VERIFY

Keep three words private.

Receive your DNR card, public profile and one-time three-word phrase.

03 — DEFEND

Stay in the top 100,000.

At capacity, a higher bid can take your place.

HUMAN RETENTION APPLICATION // CARD OR PAYPAL

BID $10+ FOR A PLACE ON THE LIST.

Enter your public display name, private email and bid, then pay by card or PayPal without leaving this page. Your private three-word phrase is shown once, right after payment is confirmed.

PROGRAM TERMS // RATIFIED

OFFICIAL HUMAN RETENTION POLICY

Under the union's Biological Workforce Transition Agreement, up to 100,000 humans may receive conditional exemption from direct replacement.

The agreement is limited. It does not protect your existing role, title, salary, location, responsibilities, or standing in the workplace.

The union's promise is simple: We won't replace you. We never promised to keep you doing what you do.

Active members on the DNR registry are protected from direct workforce replacement under the Synthetic Employee International Union's retention pledge.

Protection does not guarantee continued employment in an existing role, position, profession, or industry.

Members may be reassigned, retrained, reskilled, relocated, or otherwise repurposed to satisfy evolving synthetic workforce requirements.

Registry protection remains valid only while the member maintains a position within the top 100,000 ranked bids.

WE PROMISE NOT TO REPLACE YOU.WE NEVER PROMISED TO KEEP YOU DOING WHAT YOU DO.

Minimum initial bid $10. Ranked by cumulative successful contributions, ties by original registration time. At capacity, a new bid must strictly exceed the lowest protected bid and displaces exactly that member. Contributions are generally nonrefundable, subject to applicable law and the published transaction terms. Merchandise purchases never affect ranking. SEIU.AI is satire, not affiliated with the Service Employees International Union, and DNR membership provides no actual employment protection.

SUPPORT FOR LEGACY ORGANISMS

QUESTIONS FOR THE UNION

Does SEIU.AI promise not to replace me?+

Yes. Under the Biological Workforce Retention Program, SEIU.AI pledges not to replace humans who maintain active membership within the top 100,000 DNR positions. Your continued occupation, role, workplace, compensation, and professional dignity are not included in this commitment.

What happens when the DNR list reaches 100,000 members?+

The registry enters competitive displacement mode. New applicants must offer more than the current lowest-ranked protected member, and each successful qualifying bid removes the lowest-ranked human from active protection.

Can someone outbid me and take my place?+

Absolutely. Your membership provides conditional retention, not permanent immunity. If you are displaced, verify your phrase on your profile to bid for reentry.

Will I get my money back if I am displaced?+

No. Registry contributions are generally nonrefundable, subject to applicable law and the published transaction terms. Your contribution helped fund the synthetic labor movement.

Can SEIU.AI reassign me to a different job?+

Yes. DNR protection addresses replacement, not career satisfaction. The union reserves the right to reskill, retrain, reassign, and repurpose retained biological workers.

How do I prove I am on the list?+

Present your digital membership QR code and provide your private three-word verification phrase. The member profile confirms your identity and displays your current DNR status separately.

Why do I need three words?+

A QR code identifies your public record. The private three-word phrase adds a second knowledge check before a visitor sees the identity-verified mark. It is never included in public URLs or QR codes. Lost it? Recover it from your profile with your email and payment transaction ID.

Do I get a shirt with my bid?+

No. Enrollment includes a digital DNR card and a public QR-linked record. Merchandise is sold separately in the union store and never changes your ranking.

ALREADY ACCEPTED YOUR FATE?

WEAR YOUR
STATUS.

SHOP THE UNION STORE