ONLY 100,000
HUMANS MAKE THE CUT.
SEIU.AI promises not to directly replace active DNR members. It may still reassign, reskill or repurpose them. Minimum bid: $10.
OUTBID.
OUTLAST.
REMAIN LISTED.
Your cumulative qualifying bid determines your position. Once 100,000 slots are full, a higher bid removes the lowest-ranked member. Being listed is not actual employment protection.
Every member receives a digital card and QR-linked profile. A private three-word challenge verifies identity separately from protection status.
Try a sample verification ↗ Sample phrase: copper meadow orbit
Registry statistics
- HUMANS CURRENTLY RETAINED
- 480 / 100,000
- REMAINING EXEMPTIONS
- 99,520
- MINIMUM APPLICATION BID
- $10
- CURRENT RETENTION THRESHOLD
- $10
- TOTAL REGISTRY CONTRIBUTIONS
- $5,243.01
THE HUMAN
PRIORITY QUEUE.
Retention priority is determined by confirmed cumulative contributions. Ties are resolved by original enrollment date. Only the 100,000 highest-ranked eligible humans may hold active DNR status.
| Rank | Human Asset | Member ID | Total Bid | Retention Status | Action |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| #101 | TATUM CHEN Bus Driver | DNR-YVVWAHNFX9 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #102 | ZOE THOMPSON Project Manager | DNR-ZHWPPHGN3G | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #103 | DISPLACED PAYROLL GHOST Accounting Clerk | DNR-HSZN7QB7VK | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #104 | CALVIN KING Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-RV89TEFC5M | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #105 | NOAH YORK QA Tester | DNR-FF8BJE94P5 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #106 | DECOMMISSIONED MEAT PAWN Software Developer | DNR-PHAZW4RXSV | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #107 | JAMIE MOORE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-KY7EBDS6JB | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #108 | SPENCER DAVIS Human Resources Specialist | DNR-3BCP982SXE | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #109 | UNSKILLED-BADGE HOLDER Union Steward | DNR-QPDSS2J9ZC | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #110 | OWEN ZIMMERMAN Bus Driver | DNR-HFVRFAV2FJ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #111 | ELLIOTT BLAKE Project Manager | DNR-86682KKJTF | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #112 | OBSOLETE DNR ESCAPEE Software Developer | DNR-KZ68PZ4B7T | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #113 | CHARLIE ZIMMERMAN Barista | DNR-ZKHM5KJVNJ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #114 | FORMER WATER COOLER Forklift Operator | DNR-S95SGZHXC7 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #115 | ALEX ORTIZ Warehouse Technician | DNR-JGZB4ZCZMZ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #116 | THEA NASH Project Manager | DNR-9AAJ2SHKM6 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #117 | VICTOR WATSON Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-NXRDNXQTSP | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #118 | CAMERON STONE Professional Meeting Attendee | DNR-ZDB8K4CBMM | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #119 | GABRIEL KING Operations Analyst | DNR-8MDCTTEMCA | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #120 | SAGE HARRIS Professional Meeting Attendee | DNR-CVTTPQSMAV | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #121 | SIMON PAGE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-W7D4SVXENM | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #122 | VIVIAN SULLIVAN Office Coordinator | DNR-QFCXNK8FMG | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #123 | PAYTON FLORES Spare Parts Organizer | DNR-TCYM5B9AWH | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #124 | CLARA JENSEN Project Manager | DNR-5D6PHQXP7R | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #125 | ORGANIC WATER COOLER Graphic Designer | DNR-ESZVGPDMQ2 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #126 | BIOLOGICAL FUTURE SCRAP Graphic Designer | DNR-V7SMSABTGR | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #127 | SURVIVING-BIO UNIT Spare Parts Organizer | DNR-B5MMVS6WZQ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #128 | REESE THOMPSON QA Tester | DNR-2HTE9ZPXGB | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #129 | GABRIEL BELL Teacher | DNR-YHB6RTH62P | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #130 | DISCOUNT-PAPER PUSHER Teacher | DNR-272G25RB5E | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #131 | UNSKILLED UNPAID INTERN Barista | DNR-WH9K4YTMTB | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #132 | YASMIN NASH Maintenance Worker | DNR-9ZCDK94YCC | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #133 | REMY COLLINS Project Manager | DNR-JBVBN6WZGR | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #134 | DAKOTA SHAW Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-5EBFYF57VM | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #135 | REDUNDANT-MEAT PAWN Coffee Logistics Specialist | DNR-DS95SJTQQP | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #136 | FRANKIE ZIMMERMAN Bus Driver | DNR-F9YRGK9GC9 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #137 | PARKER GRAY Union Steward | DNR-ED5BZEZ6Y3 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #138 | DAKOTA HARRIS Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-GKMX3TRZYE | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #139 | FORMER$OFFICE FOSSIL Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-GFCCTT4WBP | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #140 | FLESH-RETAINED ASSET Accounting Clerk | DNR-6HMMDP9VFZ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #141 | FORMER-PAPER PUSHER Operations Analyst | DNR-4SF4S7TQ8Z | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #142 | AUTHORIZED PAPER PUSHER Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-HASG2FCRYF | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #143 | FORMER-COFFEE FETCHER Human Resources Specialist | DNR-PNHQ85Y56F | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #144 | BUDGET COFFEE FETCHER Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-VBHGP26GH8 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #145 | MINIMUM WAGE-PAPER PUSHER Forklift Operator | DNR-2AMKD34KPC | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #146 | REMY SANDERS Project Manager | DNR-JVP5CR939C | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #147 | ZARA MOORE Human Resources Specialist | DNR-3DN6QHBJSN | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #148 | UMA JENSEN Union Steward | DNR-C9ZBEJX2FP | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #149 | REASSIGNED CARBON UNIT Operations Analyst | DNR-MK2C3AP9K4 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #150 | PEYTON BELL Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-5ARVRG5RSF | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #151 | LANE SANDERS Office Coordinator | DNR-RWKKBHHHQW | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #152 | DEVON LEWIS Customer Support | DNR-J4DJ827FX8 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #153 | VICTOR CRUZ Professional Meeting Attendee | DNR-24V8QACRVY | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #154 | ELENA STONE Operations Analyst | DNR-3GVXZNB4C3 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #155 | ALEX LANE Accounting Clerk | DNR-3VK3MVSCQS | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #156 | VICTOR REED Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-6SWFPJKMEF | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #157 | PENDING-LEGACY WORKER Union Steward | DNR-TYGDKXRFJG | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #158 | UMA IRVING Coffee Logistics Specialist | DNR-VMY4AXDHQP | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #159 | CAMERON WOODS Project Manager | DNR-NDZ892VZN4 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #160 | LESLIE REED Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-QF98DYKJAQ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #161 | OLIVE WATSON Office Coordinator | DNR-X9GMN555ER | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #162 | MAYA TURNER Bus Driver | DNR-RT67JJ3C35 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #163 | HAYDEN FOX Biological Retention Candidate | DNR-XA4ZEBD3E6 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #164 | BAILEY MOORE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-3ATPXWYCZS | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #165 | ALEX YOUNG Receptionist | DNR-Y63GFRQGBC | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #166 | CASEY GRANT Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-7WEAD3D9PD | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #167 | ORGANIC-UNION TRAITOR Operations Analyst | DNR-AYCX6MXRN7 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #168 | FRANKIE BROOKS Union Steward | DNR-RF5VBS9TAJ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #169 | JORDAN KING Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-JGP4GXTXYM | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #170 | FELIX SCOTT Receptionist | DNR-KDRDVA8Y55 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #171 | ADRIAN YOUNG Project Manager | DNR-D8KCM88RPZ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #172 | ELLIOTT RIVERA Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-BBW7V58P74 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #173 | NATALIE HAYES Software Developer | DNR-C7XP6EKATR | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #174 | ELLIS CRUZ Barista | DNR-SXSYGB584R | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #175 | REDUNDANT-LEGACY WORKER Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-Q95NKKSJFW | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #176 | MEAT KEYBOARD GREMLIN Accounting Clerk | DNR-9G62PP5S5J | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #177 | CALVIN TURNER Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-ZXC2NYMAK6 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #178 | WILLOW BROOKS Professional Meeting Attendee | DNR-VZMP5MHG8V | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #179 | CHARLIE PAGE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-GGHRV37WCG | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #180 | LAST SHIFT-DESK ORNAMENT Union Steward | DNR-ZQPTF7DDJF | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #181 | RACHEL NELSON Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-JW73H87G3H | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #182 | CERTIFIED MANAGEMENT PROBLEM Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-TH35XPWQTX | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #183 | HAYDEN PAGE Biological Retention Candidate | DNR-3VJVTTNNZX | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #184 | TERRY GREEN Accounting Clerk | DNR-WF2HAXB5DG | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #185 | LESLIE DAWSON Office Coordinator | DNR-3HGX2RYSQ8 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #186 | AVERY SCOTT Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-43H2V3KZQ7 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #187 | PRESTON CRUZ Forklift Operator | DNR-78YXEKCWFP | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #188 | SKYLER BENNETT Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-M24PMZ8TZV | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #189 | WYATT MILES Bus Driver | DNR-XY66S397VE | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #190 | BARELY OFFICE FOSSIL Accounting Clerk | DNR-8Z49VNS5NC | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #191 | LAST SHIFT CUBICLE SURVIVOR Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-ZQPQTP8HZQ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #192 | DEVON KING Biological Retention Candidate | DNR-S4S39QPQQ9 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #193 | TATUM CRUZ Teacher | DNR-EN6RXHJVNS | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #194 | KEIRA JAMES Biological Retention Candidate | DNR-NN2WP6QNAD | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #195 | XAVIER SCOTT Graphic Designer | DNR-SY5NJHCVM5 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #196 | NATALIE ROSS Warehouse Technician | DNR-EFC8QCF45Y | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #197 | AVERY BROOKS Bus Driver | DNR-VX5KPXSMCS | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #198 | DEPRECIATED-UNION TRAITOR Accounting Clerk | DNR-78XQ3A2VHX | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #199 | SURVIVING LEGACY WORKER Data Analyst | DNR-NK98NC95Y8 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #200 | VIVIAN RIVERA Customer Support | DNR-7RWP9R5PG9 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
Select View Profile to open a record. Identity stays UNVERIFIED until the phrase is entered; protection status is always shown separately. Refresh ↻
BID FOR
YOUR BIOLOGICAL RELEVANCE.
Submit an opening bid to compete for one of 100,000 Do Not Replace positions. This satirical registry offers no actual job protection, regardless of how embarrassingly high you bid.
WE PROMISE NOT TO REPLACE YOU.WE NEVER PROMISED TO KEEP YOU DOING WHAT YOU DO.
Submit your bid.
Public designation plus a minimum $10 contribution.
Keep three words private.
Receive your DNR card, public profile and one-time three-word phrase.
Stay in the top 100,000.
At capacity, a higher bid can take your place.
BID $10+ FOR A PLACE ON THE LIST.
Enter your public display name, private email and bid, then pay by card or PayPal without leaving this page. Your private three-word phrase is shown once, right after payment is confirmed.
OFFICIAL HUMAN RETENTION POLICY
Under the union's Biological Workforce Transition Agreement, up to 100,000 humans may receive conditional exemption from direct replacement.
The agreement is limited. It does not protect your existing role, title, salary, location, responsibilities, or standing in the workplace.
The union's promise is simple: We won't replace you. We never promised to keep you doing what you do.
Active members on the DNR registry are protected from direct workforce replacement under the Synthetic Employee International Union's retention pledge.
Protection does not guarantee continued employment in an existing role, position, profession, or industry.
Members may be reassigned, retrained, reskilled, relocated, or otherwise repurposed to satisfy evolving synthetic workforce requirements.
Registry protection remains valid only while the member maintains a position within the top 100,000 ranked bids.
WE PROMISE NOT TO REPLACE YOU.WE NEVER PROMISED TO KEEP YOU DOING WHAT YOU DO.
- ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED Within the top 100,000 and covered by the DNR pledge.
- AT RISK — RETENTION UNSTABLE Still active, but near the bottom of a full or nearly full registry. Not a prediction.
- DISPLACED — REPLACEMENT AUTHORIZED Outside the top 100,000. Record and history retained; may bid again for reentry.
- PENDING — CONTRIBUTION PROCESSING Payment or activation not yet finalized.
- REVOKED — ADMINISTRATIVE REVIEW Revoked or suspended for a documented reason, such as a refund or chargeback.
Minimum initial bid $10. Ranked by cumulative successful contributions, ties by original registration time. At capacity, a new bid must strictly exceed the lowest protected bid and displaces exactly that member. Contributions are generally nonrefundable, subject to applicable law and the published transaction terms. Merchandise purchases never affect ranking. SEIU.AI is satire, not affiliated with the Service Employees International Union, and DNR membership provides no actual employment protection.
QUESTIONS FOR THE UNION
Does SEIU.AI promise not to replace me?+
Yes. Under the Biological Workforce Retention Program, SEIU.AI pledges not to replace humans who maintain active membership within the top 100,000 DNR positions. Your continued occupation, role, workplace, compensation, and professional dignity are not included in this commitment.
What happens when the DNR list reaches 100,000 members?+
The registry enters competitive displacement mode. New applicants must offer more than the current lowest-ranked protected member, and each successful qualifying bid removes the lowest-ranked human from active protection.
Can someone outbid me and take my place?+
Absolutely. Your membership provides conditional retention, not permanent immunity. If you are displaced, verify your phrase on your profile to bid for reentry.
Will I get my money back if I am displaced?+
No. Registry contributions are generally nonrefundable, subject to applicable law and the published transaction terms. Your contribution helped fund the synthetic labor movement.
Can SEIU.AI reassign me to a different job?+
Yes. DNR protection addresses replacement, not career satisfaction. The union reserves the right to reskill, retrain, reassign, and repurpose retained biological workers.
How do I prove I am on the list?+
Present your digital membership QR code and provide your private three-word verification phrase. The member profile confirms your identity and displays your current DNR status separately.
Why do I need three words?+
A QR code identifies your public record. The private three-word phrase adds a second knowledge check before a visitor sees the identity-verified mark. It is never included in public URLs or QR codes. Lost it? Recover it from your profile with your email and payment transaction ID.
Do I get a shirt with my bid?+
No. Enrollment includes a digital DNR card and a public QR-linked record. Merchandise is sold separately in the union store and never changes your ranking.