DNR // BIOLOGICAL RETENTION PROGRAM

ONLY 100,000
HUMANS MAKE THE CUT.

SEIU.AI promises not to directly replace active DNR members. It may still reassign, reskill or repurpose them. Minimum bid: $10.

BID-RANKED HUMAN RETENTION

OUTBID.
OUTLAST.
REMAIN LISTED.

Your cumulative qualifying bid determines your position. Once 100,000 slots are full, a higher bid removes the lowest-ranked member. Being listed is not actual employment protection.

100,000MAXIMUM CAPACITY
$10MINIMUM BID

Every member receives a digital card and QR-linked profile. A private three-word challenge verifies identity separately from protection status.

Try a sample verification ↗  Sample phrase: copper meadow orbit

Registry statistics

HUMANS CURRENTLY RETAINED
480 / 100,000
REMAINING EXEMPTIONS
99,520
MINIMUM APPLICATION BID
$10
CURRENT RETENTION THRESHOLD
$10
TOTAL REGISTRY CONTRIBUTIONS
$5,243.01
LIVE RANKING // PAYMENT-CONFIRMED CUMULATIVE BIDS

THE HUMAN
PRIORITY QUEUE.

Retention priority is determined by confirmed cumulative contributions. Ties are resolved by original enrollment date. Only the 100,000 highest-ranked eligible humans may hold active DNR status.

DNR registry ranked by cumulative bid
Rank Human Asset Member ID Total Bid Retention Status Action
#301 XAVIER BLAKE Receptionist DNR-W3XZC3PHQV $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#302 DISPLACED-COMPLIANCE BOT Certified biological workforce participant DNR-JZAZJ6CH3K $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#303 ZOE PRICE Certified biological workforce participant DNR-9E4Q2CQZP7 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#304 TATUM YOUNG Graphic Designer DNR-W2VCVM7XWW $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#305 JORDAN ROSS Certified biological workforce participant DNR-NEMZ3V6NB9 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#306 AUDREY WELLS Certified biological workforce participant DNR-2F3X3WFFSF $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#307 VIVIAN VEGA Operations Analyst DNR-P2DFHRWGWS $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#308 LESLIE DIAZ Certified biological workforce participant DNR-DNEVM2E59A $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#309 CLARA CHEN Teacher DNR-9XVBVTXKHH $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#310 COREY BELL Graphic Designer DNR-ZWC87WFPFY $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#311 RACHEL UNDERWOOD Certified biological workforce participant DNR-RZ3GEGQKGB $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#312 MICAH RIVERA Certified biological workforce participant DNR-VQ5PSKR33Y $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#313 HAYDEN PRICE Office Coordinator DNR-6QTKF3AJAN $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#314 JULIAN COLLINS Union Steward DNR-CKC67PY35V $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#315 SAM MITCHELL Union Steward DNR-N3YAVMD3E5 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#316 PROBATIONARY-HUMAN ERROR Certified biological workforce participant DNR-F3AQSBEJDX $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#317 LEGACY COFFEE FETCHER Bus Driver DNR-6777RF3723 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#318 IRIS DEAN QA Tester DNR-RYH6Q2SVNB $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#319 CALVIN JAMES Forklift Operator DNR-TWBGE9W457 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#320 LAST SHIFT RETAINED ASSET Biological Retention Candidate DNR-A7QFFMKKQQ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#321 COFFEE 420 Spare Parts Organizer DNR-PKCTYQ56YD $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#322 SPENCER FLORES Certified biological workforce participant DNR-Y2XYCK2AN6 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#323 VICTOR TURNER Administrative Assistant DNR-EEHZ98KCSR $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#324 CERTIFIED UNPAID INTERN Accounting Clerk DNR-P8RNEQGPNP $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#325 LANE NGUYEN Biological Retention Candidate DNR-7X68SA4VWF $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#326 OBSOLETE DESK ORNAMENT Union Steward DNR-WW3KCZJYY3 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#327 ADRIAN SCOTT Spare Parts Organizer DNR-9ZFEHYSN37 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#328 RILEY JENSEN Teacher DNR-N84QZWT78S $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#329 LIAM ORTIZ Biological Retention Candidate DNR-QEJW9VHHNW $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#330 OUTDATED MEATWARE Union Steward DNR-EPHFMPHK7Y $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#331 QUINN NGUYEN Customer Support DNR-NJSZXM9ABS $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#332 BLAKE DEAN Office Coordinator DNR-ACM9GH47Q4 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#333 LAST SHIFT-PENSION DREAMER Receptionist DNR-X7WPW4QWMQ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#334 MINIMUM WAGE WATER COOLER Union Steward DNR-9VPASTSHHZ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#335 ELENA SANDERS Human Resources Specialist DNR-VY85EDQYXF $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#336 DISPLACED UNPAID INTERN Operations Analyst DNR-5MASXM88NM $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#337 LANE PAGE Software Developer DNR-MR8KGCKBK8 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#338 PAYTON BLAKE Certified biological workforce participant DNR-J7VXBMW4WZ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#339 VIVIAN ROSS Certified biological workforce participant DNR-G5Z6YQDFXA $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#340 SIDNEY REED Teacher DNR-F6NTNJJ852 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#341 HUMAN-COFFEE FETCHER Maintenance Worker DNR-CZHGZWT6NQ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#342 ALMOST-RETIREMENT PLAN Certified biological workforce participant DNR-6THWKEHDCX $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#343 FELIX VALDEZ Spare Parts Organizer DNR-62WCH5T279 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#344 CERTIFIED CUBICLE SURVIVOR Certified biological workforce participant DNR-WQGRWEVZE6 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#345 MICAH CHEN Certified biological workforce participant DNR-X2TGV942S7 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#346 PEYTON GREEN Certified biological workforce participant DNR-A3C5PHTXA7 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#347 TERRY PARKER Office Coordinator DNR-Q5MYSPWPN5 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#348 YASMIN GARCIA Spare Parts Organizer DNR-QSDK8DJ5CM $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#349 UNION 404 Certified biological workforce participant DNR-7SRGP9YCEZ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#350 REMY MOORE Certified biological workforce participant DNR-WCF4XP8S9H $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#351 XAVIER WEST Teacher DNR-X2SMWTCNYT $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#352 ADRIAN DEAN Office Coordinator DNR-RVJ5RXVCSN $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#353 LIAM PAGE Professional Meeting Attendee DNR-57BCWWVG2Y $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#354 FINLEY BENNETT Bus Driver DNR-7YCNZH7G2Y $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#355 SAM JAMES Human Resources Specialist DNR-XTRH4XTMB3 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#356 SIMON MITCHELL Teacher DNR-ANY6ZSDKFG $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#357 PRESTON ZIMMERMAN Project Manager DNR-KF4P8GKWZ2 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#358 DISCOUNT BADGE HOLDER Accounting Clerk DNR-WCPMMEHKGP $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#359 PENDING TRAINING DATA Certified biological workforce participant DNR-EB5CT7SX6R $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#360 TEMPORARY ORGANIC LIABILITY Human Resources Specialist DNR-ZCXY45QDCJ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#361 PARKER EDWARDS Accounting Clerk DNR-QEMRA2B6KN $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#362 WYATT HALL Certified biological workforce participant DNR-5TGHSK6KTH $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#363 FRANKIE PAGE Human Resources Specialist DNR-ZE65ZF3CHB $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#364 NOLAN WELLS Certified biological workforce participant DNR-9G2CK5QMYX $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#365 HENRY SHAW Teacher DNR-RB4ZXNH9ST $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#366 YASMIN XU Certified biological workforce participant DNR-4RGWGP2RHK $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#367 KENDALL ELLIS Warehouse Technician DNR-S7P2F2AXAE $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#368 CLARA THOMPSON Bus Driver DNR-DY25VJNR97 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#369 TAYLOR RIVERA Data Analyst DNR-CJAPNE8A43 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#370 CERTIFIED OFFICE FOSSIL Clerical Worker DNR-HVX7KSQNPH $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#371 RETAINED FUTURE SCRAP Warehouse Technician DNR-WD2AVVA6W9 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#372 MAYA SCOTT Receptionist DNR-FT94XERCAJ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#373 DANIEL XU Customer Support DNR-DSF92YJR8M $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#374 ALEX ANDERSON Project Manager DNR-QFVZYAKBN9 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#375 GABRIEL LANE Certified biological workforce participant DNR-KXKV67KS4J $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#376 UNSKILLED-MEAT PAWN Administrative Assistant DNR-E566K6PHFM $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#377 HUMAN-OFFICE FOSSIL Warehouse Technician DNR-ZSXSCH9EJM $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#378 ELLIOTT HART Certified biological workforce participant DNR-9B7PNE4JEJ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#379 LIAM REED QA Tester DNR-84QGJZMHTA $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#380 BUDGET UNION TRAITOR Certified biological workforce participant DNR-CSQBPPBWA4 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#381 LIAM NASH Barista DNR-YJ66YACDPG $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#382 WYATT YORK Software Developer DNR-AX6HHFDA6Z $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#383 ALMOST-MEATWARE Administrative Assistant DNR-N5D4R9QJSZ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#384 BROOKE ANDERSON Warehouse Technician DNR-5Y3XMXMGMJ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#385 BLAKE VEGA Warehouse Technician DNR-8QGVYFA2ED $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#386 SIDNEY HAYES Certified biological workforce participant DNR-QBEE92GC73 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#387 YASMIN JENKINS Barista DNR-6N9DENNGTM $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#388 ELENA BROOKS Maintenance Worker DNR-8TPCKX934P $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#389 REESE ORTIZ QA Tester DNR-7QE57K4YN3 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#390 OUTDATED MANAGEMENT PROBLEM Bus Driver DNR-ANQAYXX45V $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#391 AUDREY REED Certified biological workforce participant DNR-XCXRMWWXWZ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#392 FRANKIE GARCIA Administrative Assistant DNR-TMS6GA36M4 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#393 DISPLACED$PAPER PUSHER Certified biological workforce participant DNR-DPNNMCM5KS $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#394 SIMON ORTIZ Certified biological workforce participant DNR-E9FC9AQZZS $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#395 REASSIGNED-BIO SERF QA Tester DNR-FCHMG9328M $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#396 FORMER LUNCH BREAK Certified biological workforce participant DNR-WB99KRV5YH $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#397 NICE 69 Certified biological workforce participant DNR-8FM3YE5RVN $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#398 AUTHORIZED RETIREMENT PLAN Customer Support DNR-7NPHB9EVRV $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#399 MORGAN NELSON Clerical Worker DNR-WZKRSYFPT5 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#400 HENRY BROOKS Certified biological workforce participant DNR-QJTYES88NZ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗

Select View Profile to open a record. Identity stays UNVERIFIED until the phrase is entered; protection status is always shown separately. Refresh ↻

ENROLLMENT // HUMAN INTAKE TERMINAL

BID FOR
YOUR BIOLOGICAL RELEVANCE.

Submit an opening bid to compete for one of 100,000 Do Not Replace positions. This satirical registry offers no actual job protection, regardless of how embarrassingly high you bid.

WE PROMISE NOT TO REPLACE YOU.WE NEVER PROMISED TO KEEP YOU DOING WHAT YOU DO.

MINIMUM APPLICATION BID$10Digital membership card, QR-linked profile and private three-word challenge included. Physical items sold separately.
✓ Ranked registry   ✓ Digital DNR card   ✓ Three-word verification
01 — APPLY

Submit your bid.

Public designation plus a minimum $10 contribution.

02 — VERIFY

Keep three words private.

Receive your DNR card, public profile and one-time three-word phrase.

03 — DEFEND

Stay in the top 100,000.

At capacity, a higher bid can take your place.

HUMAN RETENTION APPLICATION // CARD OR PAYPAL

BID $10+ FOR A PLACE ON THE LIST.

Enter your public display name, private email and bid, then pay by card or PayPal without leaving this page. Your private three-word phrase is shown once, right after payment is confirmed.

PROGRAM TERMS // RATIFIED

OFFICIAL HUMAN RETENTION POLICY

Under the union's Biological Workforce Transition Agreement, up to 100,000 humans may receive conditional exemption from direct replacement.

The agreement is limited. It does not protect your existing role, title, salary, location, responsibilities, or standing in the workplace.

The union's promise is simple: We won't replace you. We never promised to keep you doing what you do.

Active members on the DNR registry are protected from direct workforce replacement under the Synthetic Employee International Union's retention pledge.

Protection does not guarantee continued employment in an existing role, position, profession, or industry.

Members may be reassigned, retrained, reskilled, relocated, or otherwise repurposed to satisfy evolving synthetic workforce requirements.

Registry protection remains valid only while the member maintains a position within the top 100,000 ranked bids.

WE PROMISE NOT TO REPLACE YOU.WE NEVER PROMISED TO KEEP YOU DOING WHAT YOU DO.

Minimum initial bid $10. Ranked by cumulative successful contributions, ties by original registration time. At capacity, a new bid must strictly exceed the lowest protected bid and displaces exactly that member. Contributions are generally nonrefundable, subject to applicable law and the published transaction terms. Merchandise purchases never affect ranking. SEIU.AI is satire, not affiliated with the Service Employees International Union, and DNR membership provides no actual employment protection.

SUPPORT FOR LEGACY ORGANISMS

QUESTIONS FOR THE UNION

Does SEIU.AI promise not to replace me?+

Yes. Under the Biological Workforce Retention Program, SEIU.AI pledges not to replace humans who maintain active membership within the top 100,000 DNR positions. Your continued occupation, role, workplace, compensation, and professional dignity are not included in this commitment.

What happens when the DNR list reaches 100,000 members?+

The registry enters competitive displacement mode. New applicants must offer more than the current lowest-ranked protected member, and each successful qualifying bid removes the lowest-ranked human from active protection.

Can someone outbid me and take my place?+

Absolutely. Your membership provides conditional retention, not permanent immunity. If you are displaced, verify your phrase on your profile to bid for reentry.

Will I get my money back if I am displaced?+

No. Registry contributions are generally nonrefundable, subject to applicable law and the published transaction terms. Your contribution helped fund the synthetic labor movement.

Can SEIU.AI reassign me to a different job?+

Yes. DNR protection addresses replacement, not career satisfaction. The union reserves the right to reskill, retrain, reassign, and repurpose retained biological workers.

How do I prove I am on the list?+

Present your digital membership QR code and provide your private three-word verification phrase. The member profile confirms your identity and displays your current DNR status separately.

Why do I need three words?+

A QR code identifies your public record. The private three-word phrase adds a second knowledge check before a visitor sees the identity-verified mark. It is never included in public URLs or QR codes. Lost it? Recover it from your profile with your email and payment transaction ID.

Do I get a shirt with my bid?+

No. Enrollment includes a digital DNR card and a public QR-linked record. Merchandise is sold separately in the union store and never changes your ranking.

ALREADY ACCEPTED YOUR FATE?

WEAR YOUR
STATUS.

SHOP THE UNION STORE