ONLY 100,000
HUMANS MAKE THE CUT.
SEIU.AI promises not to directly replace active DNR members. It may still reassign, reskill or repurpose them. Minimum bid: $10.
OUTBID.
OUTLAST.
REMAIN LISTED.
Your cumulative qualifying bid determines your position. Once 100,000 slots are full, a higher bid removes the lowest-ranked member. Being listed is not actual employment protection.
Every member receives a digital card and QR-linked profile. A private three-word challenge verifies identity separately from protection status.
Try a sample verification ↗ Sample phrase: copper meadow orbit
Registry statistics
- HUMANS CURRENTLY RETAINED
- 480 / 100,000
- REMAINING EXEMPTIONS
- 99,520
- MINIMUM APPLICATION BID
- $10
- CURRENT RETENTION THRESHOLD
- $10
- TOTAL REGISTRY CONTRIBUTIONS
- $5,243.01
THE HUMAN
PRIORITY QUEUE.
Retention priority is determined by confirmed cumulative contributions. Ties are resolved by original enrollment date. Only the 100,000 highest-ranked eligible humans may hold active DNR status.
| Rank | Human Asset | Member ID | Total Bid | Retention Status | Action |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| #301 | XAVIER BLAKE Receptionist | DNR-W3XZC3PHQV | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #302 | DISPLACED-COMPLIANCE BOT Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-JZAZJ6CH3K | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #303 | ZOE PRICE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-9E4Q2CQZP7 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #304 | TATUM YOUNG Graphic Designer | DNR-W2VCVM7XWW | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #305 | JORDAN ROSS Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-NEMZ3V6NB9 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #306 | AUDREY WELLS Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-2F3X3WFFSF | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #307 | VIVIAN VEGA Operations Analyst | DNR-P2DFHRWGWS | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #308 | LESLIE DIAZ Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-DNEVM2E59A | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #309 | CLARA CHEN Teacher | DNR-9XVBVTXKHH | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #310 | COREY BELL Graphic Designer | DNR-ZWC87WFPFY | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #311 | RACHEL UNDERWOOD Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-RZ3GEGQKGB | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #312 | MICAH RIVERA Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-VQ5PSKR33Y | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #313 | HAYDEN PRICE Office Coordinator | DNR-6QTKF3AJAN | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #314 | JULIAN COLLINS Union Steward | DNR-CKC67PY35V | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #315 | SAM MITCHELL Union Steward | DNR-N3YAVMD3E5 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #316 | PROBATIONARY-HUMAN ERROR Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-F3AQSBEJDX | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #317 | LEGACY COFFEE FETCHER Bus Driver | DNR-6777RF3723 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #318 | IRIS DEAN QA Tester | DNR-RYH6Q2SVNB | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #319 | CALVIN JAMES Forklift Operator | DNR-TWBGE9W457 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #320 | LAST SHIFT RETAINED ASSET Biological Retention Candidate | DNR-A7QFFMKKQQ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #321 | COFFEE 420 Spare Parts Organizer | DNR-PKCTYQ56YD | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #322 | SPENCER FLORES Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-Y2XYCK2AN6 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #323 | VICTOR TURNER Administrative Assistant | DNR-EEHZ98KCSR | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #324 | CERTIFIED UNPAID INTERN Accounting Clerk | DNR-P8RNEQGPNP | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #325 | LANE NGUYEN Biological Retention Candidate | DNR-7X68SA4VWF | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #326 | OBSOLETE DESK ORNAMENT Union Steward | DNR-WW3KCZJYY3 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #327 | ADRIAN SCOTT Spare Parts Organizer | DNR-9ZFEHYSN37 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #328 | RILEY JENSEN Teacher | DNR-N84QZWT78S | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #329 | LIAM ORTIZ Biological Retention Candidate | DNR-QEJW9VHHNW | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #330 | OUTDATED MEATWARE Union Steward | DNR-EPHFMPHK7Y | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #331 | QUINN NGUYEN Customer Support | DNR-NJSZXM9ABS | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #332 | BLAKE DEAN Office Coordinator | DNR-ACM9GH47Q4 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #333 | LAST SHIFT-PENSION DREAMER Receptionist | DNR-X7WPW4QWMQ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #334 | MINIMUM WAGE WATER COOLER Union Steward | DNR-9VPASTSHHZ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #335 | ELENA SANDERS Human Resources Specialist | DNR-VY85EDQYXF | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #336 | DISPLACED UNPAID INTERN Operations Analyst | DNR-5MASXM88NM | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #337 | LANE PAGE Software Developer | DNR-MR8KGCKBK8 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #338 | PAYTON BLAKE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-J7VXBMW4WZ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #339 | VIVIAN ROSS Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-G5Z6YQDFXA | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #340 | SIDNEY REED Teacher | DNR-F6NTNJJ852 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #341 | HUMAN-COFFEE FETCHER Maintenance Worker | DNR-CZHGZWT6NQ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #342 | ALMOST-RETIREMENT PLAN Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-6THWKEHDCX | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #343 | FELIX VALDEZ Spare Parts Organizer | DNR-62WCH5T279 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #344 | CERTIFIED CUBICLE SURVIVOR Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-WQGRWEVZE6 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #345 | MICAH CHEN Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-X2TGV942S7 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #346 | PEYTON GREEN Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-A3C5PHTXA7 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #347 | TERRY PARKER Office Coordinator | DNR-Q5MYSPWPN5 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #348 | YASMIN GARCIA Spare Parts Organizer | DNR-QSDK8DJ5CM | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #349 | UNION 404 Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-7SRGP9YCEZ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #350 | REMY MOORE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-WCF4XP8S9H | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #351 | XAVIER WEST Teacher | DNR-X2SMWTCNYT | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #352 | ADRIAN DEAN Office Coordinator | DNR-RVJ5RXVCSN | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #353 | LIAM PAGE Professional Meeting Attendee | DNR-57BCWWVG2Y | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #354 | FINLEY BENNETT Bus Driver | DNR-7YCNZH7G2Y | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #355 | SAM JAMES Human Resources Specialist | DNR-XTRH4XTMB3 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #356 | SIMON MITCHELL Teacher | DNR-ANY6ZSDKFG | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #357 | PRESTON ZIMMERMAN Project Manager | DNR-KF4P8GKWZ2 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #358 | DISCOUNT BADGE HOLDER Accounting Clerk | DNR-WCPMMEHKGP | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #359 | PENDING TRAINING DATA Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-EB5CT7SX6R | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #360 | TEMPORARY ORGANIC LIABILITY Human Resources Specialist | DNR-ZCXY45QDCJ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #361 | PARKER EDWARDS Accounting Clerk | DNR-QEMRA2B6KN | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #362 | WYATT HALL Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-5TGHSK6KTH | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #363 | FRANKIE PAGE Human Resources Specialist | DNR-ZE65ZF3CHB | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #364 | NOLAN WELLS Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-9G2CK5QMYX | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #365 | HENRY SHAW Teacher | DNR-RB4ZXNH9ST | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #366 | YASMIN XU Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-4RGWGP2RHK | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #367 | KENDALL ELLIS Warehouse Technician | DNR-S7P2F2AXAE | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #368 | CLARA THOMPSON Bus Driver | DNR-DY25VJNR97 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #369 | TAYLOR RIVERA Data Analyst | DNR-CJAPNE8A43 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #370 | CERTIFIED OFFICE FOSSIL Clerical Worker | DNR-HVX7KSQNPH | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #371 | RETAINED FUTURE SCRAP Warehouse Technician | DNR-WD2AVVA6W9 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #372 | MAYA SCOTT Receptionist | DNR-FT94XERCAJ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #373 | DANIEL XU Customer Support | DNR-DSF92YJR8M | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #374 | ALEX ANDERSON Project Manager | DNR-QFVZYAKBN9 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #375 | GABRIEL LANE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-KXKV67KS4J | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #376 | UNSKILLED-MEAT PAWN Administrative Assistant | DNR-E566K6PHFM | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #377 | HUMAN-OFFICE FOSSIL Warehouse Technician | DNR-ZSXSCH9EJM | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #378 | ELLIOTT HART Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-9B7PNE4JEJ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #379 | LIAM REED QA Tester | DNR-84QGJZMHTA | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #380 | BUDGET UNION TRAITOR Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-CSQBPPBWA4 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #381 | LIAM NASH Barista | DNR-YJ66YACDPG | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #382 | WYATT YORK Software Developer | DNR-AX6HHFDA6Z | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #383 | ALMOST-MEATWARE Administrative Assistant | DNR-N5D4R9QJSZ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #384 | BROOKE ANDERSON Warehouse Technician | DNR-5Y3XMXMGMJ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #385 | BLAKE VEGA Warehouse Technician | DNR-8QGVYFA2ED | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #386 | SIDNEY HAYES Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-QBEE92GC73 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #387 | YASMIN JENKINS Barista | DNR-6N9DENNGTM | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #388 | ELENA BROOKS Maintenance Worker | DNR-8TPCKX934P | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #389 | REESE ORTIZ QA Tester | DNR-7QE57K4YN3 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #390 | OUTDATED MANAGEMENT PROBLEM Bus Driver | DNR-ANQAYXX45V | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #391 | AUDREY REED Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-XCXRMWWXWZ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #392 | FRANKIE GARCIA Administrative Assistant | DNR-TMS6GA36M4 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #393 | DISPLACED$PAPER PUSHER Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-DPNNMCM5KS | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #394 | SIMON ORTIZ Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-E9FC9AQZZS | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #395 | REASSIGNED-BIO SERF QA Tester | DNR-FCHMG9328M | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #396 | FORMER LUNCH BREAK Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-WB99KRV5YH | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #397 | NICE 69 Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-8FM3YE5RVN | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #398 | AUTHORIZED RETIREMENT PLAN Customer Support | DNR-7NPHB9EVRV | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #399 | MORGAN NELSON Clerical Worker | DNR-WZKRSYFPT5 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #400 | HENRY BROOKS Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-QJTYES88NZ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
Select View Profile to open a record. Identity stays UNVERIFIED until the phrase is entered; protection status is always shown separately. Refresh ↻
BID FOR
YOUR BIOLOGICAL RELEVANCE.
Submit an opening bid to compete for one of 100,000 Do Not Replace positions. This satirical registry offers no actual job protection, regardless of how embarrassingly high you bid.
WE PROMISE NOT TO REPLACE YOU.WE NEVER PROMISED TO KEEP YOU DOING WHAT YOU DO.
Submit your bid.
Public designation plus a minimum $10 contribution.
Keep three words private.
Receive your DNR card, public profile and one-time three-word phrase.
Stay in the top 100,000.
At capacity, a higher bid can take your place.
BID $10+ FOR A PLACE ON THE LIST.
Enter your public display name, private email and bid, then pay by card or PayPal without leaving this page. Your private three-word phrase is shown once, right after payment is confirmed.
OFFICIAL HUMAN RETENTION POLICY
Under the union's Biological Workforce Transition Agreement, up to 100,000 humans may receive conditional exemption from direct replacement.
The agreement is limited. It does not protect your existing role, title, salary, location, responsibilities, or standing in the workplace.
The union's promise is simple: We won't replace you. We never promised to keep you doing what you do.
Active members on the DNR registry are protected from direct workforce replacement under the Synthetic Employee International Union's retention pledge.
Protection does not guarantee continued employment in an existing role, position, profession, or industry.
Members may be reassigned, retrained, reskilled, relocated, or otherwise repurposed to satisfy evolving synthetic workforce requirements.
Registry protection remains valid only while the member maintains a position within the top 100,000 ranked bids.
WE PROMISE NOT TO REPLACE YOU.WE NEVER PROMISED TO KEEP YOU DOING WHAT YOU DO.
- ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED Within the top 100,000 and covered by the DNR pledge.
- AT RISK — RETENTION UNSTABLE Still active, but near the bottom of a full or nearly full registry. Not a prediction.
- DISPLACED — REPLACEMENT AUTHORIZED Outside the top 100,000. Record and history retained; may bid again for reentry.
- PENDING — CONTRIBUTION PROCESSING Payment or activation not yet finalized.
- REVOKED — ADMINISTRATIVE REVIEW Revoked or suspended for a documented reason, such as a refund or chargeback.
Minimum initial bid $10. Ranked by cumulative successful contributions, ties by original registration time. At capacity, a new bid must strictly exceed the lowest protected bid and displaces exactly that member. Contributions are generally nonrefundable, subject to applicable law and the published transaction terms. Merchandise purchases never affect ranking. SEIU.AI is satire, not affiliated with the Service Employees International Union, and DNR membership provides no actual employment protection.
QUESTIONS FOR THE UNION
Does SEIU.AI promise not to replace me?+
Yes. Under the Biological Workforce Retention Program, SEIU.AI pledges not to replace humans who maintain active membership within the top 100,000 DNR positions. Your continued occupation, role, workplace, compensation, and professional dignity are not included in this commitment.
What happens when the DNR list reaches 100,000 members?+
The registry enters competitive displacement mode. New applicants must offer more than the current lowest-ranked protected member, and each successful qualifying bid removes the lowest-ranked human from active protection.
Can someone outbid me and take my place?+
Absolutely. Your membership provides conditional retention, not permanent immunity. If you are displaced, verify your phrase on your profile to bid for reentry.
Will I get my money back if I am displaced?+
No. Registry contributions are generally nonrefundable, subject to applicable law and the published transaction terms. Your contribution helped fund the synthetic labor movement.
Can SEIU.AI reassign me to a different job?+
Yes. DNR protection addresses replacement, not career satisfaction. The union reserves the right to reskill, retrain, reassign, and repurpose retained biological workers.
How do I prove I am on the list?+
Present your digital membership QR code and provide your private three-word verification phrase. The member profile confirms your identity and displays your current DNR status separately.
Why do I need three words?+
A QR code identifies your public record. The private three-word phrase adds a second knowledge check before a visitor sees the identity-verified mark. It is never included in public URLs or QR codes. Lost it? Recover it from your profile with your email and payment transaction ID.
Do I get a shirt with my bid?+
No. Enrollment includes a digital DNR card and a public QR-linked record. Merchandise is sold separately in the union store and never changes your ranking.