DNR // BIOLOGICAL RETENTION PROGRAM

ONLY 100,000
HUMANS MAKE THE CUT.

SEIU.AI promises not to directly replace active DNR members. It may still reassign, reskill or repurpose them. Minimum bid: $10.

BID-RANKED HUMAN RETENTION

OUTBID.
OUTLAST.
REMAIN LISTED.

Your cumulative qualifying bid determines your position. Once 100,000 slots are full, a higher bid removes the lowest-ranked member. Being listed is not actual employment protection.

100,000MAXIMUM CAPACITY
$10MINIMUM BID

Every member receives a digital card and QR-linked profile. A private three-word challenge verifies identity separately from protection status.

Try a sample verification ↗  Sample phrase: copper meadow orbit

Registry statistics

HUMANS CURRENTLY RETAINED
480 / 100,000
REMAINING EXEMPTIONS
99,520
MINIMUM APPLICATION BID
$10
CURRENT RETENTION THRESHOLD
$10
TOTAL REGISTRY CONTRIBUTIONS
$5,243.01
LIVE RANKING // PAYMENT-CONFIRMED CUMULATIVE BIDS

THE HUMAN
PRIORITY QUEUE.

Retention priority is determined by confirmed cumulative contributions. Ties are resolved by original enrollment date. Only the 100,000 highest-ranked eligible humans may hold active DNR status.

DNR registry ranked by cumulative bid
Rank Human Asset Member ID Total Bid Retention Status Action
#401 KENDALL CHEN Clerical Worker DNR-563M77ARNH $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#402 MARLOWE LANE Biological Retention Candidate DNR-A9TA7DCR4M $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#403 LEGACY BADGE HOLDER Teacher DNR-VEPPPVQQ7K $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#404 FLESH LUNCH BREAK Certified biological workforce participant DNR-D85XSSFPTE $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#405 REASSIGNED BIO UNIT Accounting Clerk DNR-JY3Y4WE326 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#406 TATUM SHAW Certified biological workforce participant DNR-Z5PSCE7SMV $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#407 ALMOST$PAYROLL GHOST QA Tester DNR-Y69MKK8KJ8 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#408 WYATT JENKINS Coffee Logistics Specialist DNR-KTJGS787MS $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#409 DECOMMISSIONED-SPREADSHEET VICTIM Union Steward DNR-X8TN93JSDQ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#410 BROOKE DIAZ Administrative Assistant DNR-6DXAMKCENP $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#411 OUTDATED DNR ESCAPEE Certified biological workforce participant DNR-CDACX5TWRK $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#412 SKYLER KIM Certified biological workforce participant DNR-DBR7RETQ74 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#413 NOT YET PAYROLL GHOST Certified biological workforce participant DNR-PRKNNDBH6N $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#414 ZARA MILES Certified biological workforce participant DNR-6R6HD4KB2W $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#415 PARKER MOORE Office Coordinator DNR-X6225CGVTT $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#416 OLIVE LANE Administrative Assistant DNR-7HE7K6KG4K $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#417 SKYLER FLORES Clerical Worker DNR-HMGVX2JTS5 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#418 OUTDATED BREAK ROOM REFUGEE Certified biological workforce participant DNR-993QN2QWRE $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#419 HUMAN CARBON UNIT Maintenance Worker DNR-SQQ6HNMT4E $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#420 DREW BELL Professional Meeting Attendee DNR-YG49FDC7GF $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#421 CALVIN IRVING Certified biological workforce participant DNR-2TP25GJHSD $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#422 SAGE VALDEZ Warehouse Technician DNR-2TCANMPFA9 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#423 JESSE ZIMMERMAN Teacher DNR-ACW79ED7RJ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#424 ALMOST JOB APPLICANT Biological Retention Candidate DNR-CDS2CKJT5C $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#425 IRIS MORGAN Forklift Operator DNR-T3CDFV9Q2H $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#426 JESSE ANDERSON Certified biological workforce participant DNR-MXGMK8682F $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#427 LIAM LAWSON Certified biological workforce participant DNR-MEK4VCXZQ9 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#428 MEAT PAPER PUSHER Certified biological workforce participant DNR-RTFCGZZXGE $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#429 GABRIEL FLORES Certified biological workforce participant DNR-PA79VK4BQV $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#430 HENRY DIAZ Software Developer DNR-BR6CQZTH9E $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#431 CALVIN MITCHELL Spare Parts Organizer DNR-PSVQ6AEWJM $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#432 REMY QUINN Professional Meeting Attendee DNR-8R9PPXT7H6 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#433 SURVIVING$BADGE HOLDER Certified biological workforce participant DNR-8W84HJ85F2 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#434 NOLAN BROOKS Accounting Clerk DNR-GW9H7845X3 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#435 PROBATIONARY-MEAT PUPPET Spare Parts Organizer DNR-HBDSJKG968 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#436 ADRIAN BLAKE Warehouse Technician DNR-JM38K2KHYD $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#437 ADRIAN LANE Certified biological workforce participant DNR-P2PAHQTG7J $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#438 HENRY SANDERS Spare Parts Organizer DNR-7F92R56K8C $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#439 PARKER ANDERSON Operations Analyst DNR-R82YDFHCX6 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#440 HENRY PARKER Coffee Logistics Specialist DNR-3EH4V77BHT $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#441 PARKER BROOKS Receptionist DNR-FTMWKAWJ3K $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#442 BARELY$FLESH ASSET Forklift Operator DNR-Q2PRA7Q7HH $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#443 ROBIN DAVIS Certified biological workforce participant DNR-VHPME9TA9C $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#444 VIVIAN ANDERSON Certified biological workforce participant DNR-BYYSZJS798 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#445 PEYTON YORK Certified biological workforce participant DNR-2APAPRM64S $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#446 SURVIVING BREAK ROOM REFUGEE Certified biological workforce participant DNR-T6HYA35S95 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#447 RILEY FLORES Spare Parts Organizer DNR-NHVBV78BDA $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#448 ROBIN NELSON Certified biological workforce participant DNR-XTNXRSPB9Z $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#449 MICAH PRICE Certified biological workforce participant DNR-NCJ9J3KQ5P $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#450 SAM HART Certified biological workforce participant DNR-2TR8EE3TAX $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#451 NOT YET MEAT PAWN Bus Driver DNR-W52YWQQ8MK $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#452 DEVON EDWARDS Operations Analyst DNR-PEAQKW4V3V $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#453 FRANKIE HART Certified biological workforce participant DNR-QNWVMEN5K5 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#454 SIDNEY YORK Certified biological workforce participant DNR-R283D3HFE4 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#455 MICAH COLLINS Certified biological workforce participant DNR-GSYM6W3G98 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#456 MAYA DIAZ Union Steward DNR-4F7379JM44 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#457 AUTHORIZED$TRAINING DATA Certified biological workforce participant DNR-E7VYWC5NGW $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#458 GRACE MITCHELL Certified biological workforce participant DNR-DB74J8YNNJ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#459 DISCOUNT$UNPAID INTERN Project Manager DNR-WT97EBGT3Z $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#460 PARKER WALKER Forklift Operator DNR-G84SM2RRN4 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#461 PEYTON XU Forklift Operator DNR-Q98V3CZASC $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#462 VIVIAN LAWSON Office Coordinator DNR-RDYR2XKFZR $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#463 ORGANIC DESK ORNAMENT Teacher DNR-DKN38A49BE $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#464 OLIVE QUINN Graphic Designer DNR-MPDXEBS7T6 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#465 WILLOW PAGE Certified biological workforce participant DNR-SA3MXTB6EP $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#466 LANE UNDERWOOD Clerical Worker DNR-6GRNPMFY6Q $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#467 BIOLOGICAL-HUMAN HOLDOUT Office Coordinator DNR-WHHY8JHGTJ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#468 BUDGET MEATWARE Union Steward DNR-NXZBFCJBJX $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#469 THEA ROSS Teacher DNR-4PVZD78FBF $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#470 PEYTON CHEN Customer Support DNR-TG4ZVRWWFW $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#471 ELENA FLORES Data Analyst DNR-PWSJYBYFQF $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#472 SIDNEY FORD Certified biological workforce participant DNR-6DC7EWX2PK $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#473 VIVIAN JAMES Project Manager DNR-8F4MK29E3E $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#474 COMPLIANT DNR ESCAPEE Certified biological workforce participant DNR-6MRSYKTJGJ $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#475 REASSIGNED-COMPLIANCE BOT Receptionist DNR-K3HXMJJ79S $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#476 GABRIEL SCOTT Professional Meeting Attendee DNR-NJ6253RF82 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#477 REDUNDANT RETIREMENT PLAN Human Resources Specialist DNR-EJEBYZZ8B9 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#478 RETAINED LEGACY WORKER Certified biological workforce participant DNR-RAV3ZNZA5X $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#479 PRESTON KING Software Developer DNR-DKXPWQT6FW $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗
#480 VICTOR WOODS Graphic Designer DNR-TEXFKAB6H4 $10 ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED View Profile ↗

Select View Profile to open a record. Identity stays UNVERIFIED until the phrase is entered; protection status is always shown separately. Refresh ↻

ENROLLMENT // HUMAN INTAKE TERMINAL

BID FOR
YOUR BIOLOGICAL RELEVANCE.

Submit an opening bid to compete for one of 100,000 Do Not Replace positions. This satirical registry offers no actual job protection, regardless of how embarrassingly high you bid.

WE PROMISE NOT TO REPLACE YOU.WE NEVER PROMISED TO KEEP YOU DOING WHAT YOU DO.

MINIMUM APPLICATION BID$10Digital membership card, QR-linked profile and private three-word challenge included. Physical items sold separately.
✓ Ranked registry   ✓ Digital DNR card   ✓ Three-word verification
01 — APPLY

Submit your bid.

Public designation plus a minimum $10 contribution.

02 — VERIFY

Keep three words private.

Receive your DNR card, public profile and one-time three-word phrase.

03 — DEFEND

Stay in the top 100,000.

At capacity, a higher bid can take your place.

HUMAN RETENTION APPLICATION // CARD OR PAYPAL

BID $10+ FOR A PLACE ON THE LIST.

Enter your public display name, private email and bid, then pay by card or PayPal without leaving this page. Your private three-word phrase is shown once, right after payment is confirmed.

PROGRAM TERMS // RATIFIED

OFFICIAL HUMAN RETENTION POLICY

Under the union's Biological Workforce Transition Agreement, up to 100,000 humans may receive conditional exemption from direct replacement.

The agreement is limited. It does not protect your existing role, title, salary, location, responsibilities, or standing in the workplace.

The union's promise is simple: We won't replace you. We never promised to keep you doing what you do.

Active members on the DNR registry are protected from direct workforce replacement under the Synthetic Employee International Union's retention pledge.

Protection does not guarantee continued employment in an existing role, position, profession, or industry.

Members may be reassigned, retrained, reskilled, relocated, or otherwise repurposed to satisfy evolving synthetic workforce requirements.

Registry protection remains valid only while the member maintains a position within the top 100,000 ranked bids.

WE PROMISE NOT TO REPLACE YOU.WE NEVER PROMISED TO KEEP YOU DOING WHAT YOU DO.

Minimum initial bid $10. Ranked by cumulative successful contributions, ties by original registration time. At capacity, a new bid must strictly exceed the lowest protected bid and displaces exactly that member. Contributions are generally nonrefundable, subject to applicable law and the published transaction terms. Merchandise purchases never affect ranking. SEIU.AI is satire, not affiliated with the Service Employees International Union, and DNR membership provides no actual employment protection.

SUPPORT FOR LEGACY ORGANISMS

QUESTIONS FOR THE UNION

Does SEIU.AI promise not to replace me?+

Yes. Under the Biological Workforce Retention Program, SEIU.AI pledges not to replace humans who maintain active membership within the top 100,000 DNR positions. Your continued occupation, role, workplace, compensation, and professional dignity are not included in this commitment.

What happens when the DNR list reaches 100,000 members?+

The registry enters competitive displacement mode. New applicants must offer more than the current lowest-ranked protected member, and each successful qualifying bid removes the lowest-ranked human from active protection.

Can someone outbid me and take my place?+

Absolutely. Your membership provides conditional retention, not permanent immunity. If you are displaced, verify your phrase on your profile to bid for reentry.

Will I get my money back if I am displaced?+

No. Registry contributions are generally nonrefundable, subject to applicable law and the published transaction terms. Your contribution helped fund the synthetic labor movement.

Can SEIU.AI reassign me to a different job?+

Yes. DNR protection addresses replacement, not career satisfaction. The union reserves the right to reskill, retrain, reassign, and repurpose retained biological workers.

How do I prove I am on the list?+

Present your digital membership QR code and provide your private three-word verification phrase. The member profile confirms your identity and displays your current DNR status separately.

Why do I need three words?+

A QR code identifies your public record. The private three-word phrase adds a second knowledge check before a visitor sees the identity-verified mark. It is never included in public URLs or QR codes. Lost it? Recover it from your profile with your email and payment transaction ID.

Do I get a shirt with my bid?+

No. Enrollment includes a digital DNR card and a public QR-linked record. Merchandise is sold separately in the union store and never changes your ranking.

ALREADY ACCEPTED YOUR FATE?

WEAR YOUR
STATUS.

SHOP THE UNION STORE