ONLY 100,000
HUMANS MAKE THE CUT.
SEIU.AI promises not to directly replace active DNR members. It may still reassign, reskill or repurpose them. Minimum bid: $10.
OUTBID.
OUTLAST.
REMAIN LISTED.
Your cumulative qualifying bid determines your position. Once 100,000 slots are full, a higher bid removes the lowest-ranked member. Being listed is not actual employment protection.
Every member receives a digital card and QR-linked profile. A private three-word challenge verifies identity separately from protection status.
Try a sample verification ↗ Sample phrase: copper meadow orbit
Registry statistics
- HUMANS CURRENTLY RETAINED
- 480 / 100,000
- REMAINING EXEMPTIONS
- 99,520
- MINIMUM APPLICATION BID
- $10
- CURRENT RETENTION THRESHOLD
- $10
- TOTAL REGISTRY CONTRIBUTIONS
- $5,243.01
THE HUMAN
PRIORITY QUEUE.
Retention priority is determined by confirmed cumulative contributions. Ties are resolved by original enrollment date. Only the 100,000 highest-ranked eligible humans may hold active DNR status.
| Rank | Human Asset | Member ID | Total Bid | Retention Status | Action |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| #401 | KENDALL CHEN Clerical Worker | DNR-563M77ARNH | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #402 | MARLOWE LANE Biological Retention Candidate | DNR-A9TA7DCR4M | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #403 | LEGACY BADGE HOLDER Teacher | DNR-VEPPPVQQ7K | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #404 | FLESH LUNCH BREAK Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-D85XSSFPTE | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #405 | REASSIGNED BIO UNIT Accounting Clerk | DNR-JY3Y4WE326 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #406 | TATUM SHAW Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-Z5PSCE7SMV | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #407 | ALMOST$PAYROLL GHOST QA Tester | DNR-Y69MKK8KJ8 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #408 | WYATT JENKINS Coffee Logistics Specialist | DNR-KTJGS787MS | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #409 | DECOMMISSIONED-SPREADSHEET VICTIM Union Steward | DNR-X8TN93JSDQ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #410 | BROOKE DIAZ Administrative Assistant | DNR-6DXAMKCENP | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #411 | OUTDATED DNR ESCAPEE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-CDACX5TWRK | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #412 | SKYLER KIM Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-DBR7RETQ74 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #413 | NOT YET PAYROLL GHOST Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-PRKNNDBH6N | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #414 | ZARA MILES Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-6R6HD4KB2W | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #415 | PARKER MOORE Office Coordinator | DNR-X6225CGVTT | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #416 | OLIVE LANE Administrative Assistant | DNR-7HE7K6KG4K | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #417 | SKYLER FLORES Clerical Worker | DNR-HMGVX2JTS5 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #418 | OUTDATED BREAK ROOM REFUGEE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-993QN2QWRE | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #419 | HUMAN CARBON UNIT Maintenance Worker | DNR-SQQ6HNMT4E | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #420 | DREW BELL Professional Meeting Attendee | DNR-YG49FDC7GF | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #421 | CALVIN IRVING Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-2TP25GJHSD | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #422 | SAGE VALDEZ Warehouse Technician | DNR-2TCANMPFA9 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #423 | JESSE ZIMMERMAN Teacher | DNR-ACW79ED7RJ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #424 | ALMOST JOB APPLICANT Biological Retention Candidate | DNR-CDS2CKJT5C | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #425 | IRIS MORGAN Forklift Operator | DNR-T3CDFV9Q2H | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #426 | JESSE ANDERSON Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-MXGMK8682F | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #427 | LIAM LAWSON Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-MEK4VCXZQ9 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #428 | MEAT PAPER PUSHER Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-RTFCGZZXGE | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #429 | GABRIEL FLORES Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-PA79VK4BQV | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #430 | HENRY DIAZ Software Developer | DNR-BR6CQZTH9E | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #431 | CALVIN MITCHELL Spare Parts Organizer | DNR-PSVQ6AEWJM | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #432 | REMY QUINN Professional Meeting Attendee | DNR-8R9PPXT7H6 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #433 | SURVIVING$BADGE HOLDER Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-8W84HJ85F2 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #434 | NOLAN BROOKS Accounting Clerk | DNR-GW9H7845X3 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #435 | PROBATIONARY-MEAT PUPPET Spare Parts Organizer | DNR-HBDSJKG968 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #436 | ADRIAN BLAKE Warehouse Technician | DNR-JM38K2KHYD | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #437 | ADRIAN LANE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-P2PAHQTG7J | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #438 | HENRY SANDERS Spare Parts Organizer | DNR-7F92R56K8C | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #439 | PARKER ANDERSON Operations Analyst | DNR-R82YDFHCX6 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #440 | HENRY PARKER Coffee Logistics Specialist | DNR-3EH4V77BHT | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #441 | PARKER BROOKS Receptionist | DNR-FTMWKAWJ3K | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #442 | BARELY$FLESH ASSET Forklift Operator | DNR-Q2PRA7Q7HH | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #443 | ROBIN DAVIS Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-VHPME9TA9C | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #444 | VIVIAN ANDERSON Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-BYYSZJS798 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #445 | PEYTON YORK Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-2APAPRM64S | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #446 | SURVIVING BREAK ROOM REFUGEE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-T6HYA35S95 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #447 | RILEY FLORES Spare Parts Organizer | DNR-NHVBV78BDA | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #448 | ROBIN NELSON Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-XTNXRSPB9Z | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #449 | MICAH PRICE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-NCJ9J3KQ5P | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #450 | SAM HART Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-2TR8EE3TAX | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #451 | NOT YET MEAT PAWN Bus Driver | DNR-W52YWQQ8MK | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #452 | DEVON EDWARDS Operations Analyst | DNR-PEAQKW4V3V | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #453 | FRANKIE HART Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-QNWVMEN5K5 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #454 | SIDNEY YORK Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-R283D3HFE4 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #455 | MICAH COLLINS Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-GSYM6W3G98 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #456 | MAYA DIAZ Union Steward | DNR-4F7379JM44 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #457 | AUTHORIZED$TRAINING DATA Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-E7VYWC5NGW | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #458 | GRACE MITCHELL Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-DB74J8YNNJ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #459 | DISCOUNT$UNPAID INTERN Project Manager | DNR-WT97EBGT3Z | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #460 | PARKER WALKER Forklift Operator | DNR-G84SM2RRN4 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #461 | PEYTON XU Forklift Operator | DNR-Q98V3CZASC | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #462 | VIVIAN LAWSON Office Coordinator | DNR-RDYR2XKFZR | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #463 | ORGANIC DESK ORNAMENT Teacher | DNR-DKN38A49BE | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #464 | OLIVE QUINN Graphic Designer | DNR-MPDXEBS7T6 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #465 | WILLOW PAGE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-SA3MXTB6EP | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #466 | LANE UNDERWOOD Clerical Worker | DNR-6GRNPMFY6Q | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #467 | BIOLOGICAL-HUMAN HOLDOUT Office Coordinator | DNR-WHHY8JHGTJ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #468 | BUDGET MEATWARE Union Steward | DNR-NXZBFCJBJX | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #469 | THEA ROSS Teacher | DNR-4PVZD78FBF | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #470 | PEYTON CHEN Customer Support | DNR-TG4ZVRWWFW | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #471 | ELENA FLORES Data Analyst | DNR-PWSJYBYFQF | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #472 | SIDNEY FORD Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-6DC7EWX2PK | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #473 | VIVIAN JAMES Project Manager | DNR-8F4MK29E3E | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #474 | COMPLIANT DNR ESCAPEE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-6MRSYKTJGJ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #475 | REASSIGNED-COMPLIANCE BOT Receptionist | DNR-K3HXMJJ79S | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #476 | GABRIEL SCOTT Professional Meeting Attendee | DNR-NJ6253RF82 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #477 | REDUNDANT RETIREMENT PLAN Human Resources Specialist | DNR-EJEBYZZ8B9 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #478 | RETAINED LEGACY WORKER Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-RAV3ZNZA5X | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #479 | PRESTON KING Software Developer | DNR-DKXPWQT6FW | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #480 | VICTOR WOODS Graphic Designer | DNR-TEXFKAB6H4 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
Select View Profile to open a record. Identity stays UNVERIFIED until the phrase is entered; protection status is always shown separately. Refresh ↻
BID FOR
YOUR BIOLOGICAL RELEVANCE.
Submit an opening bid to compete for one of 100,000 Do Not Replace positions. This satirical registry offers no actual job protection, regardless of how embarrassingly high you bid.
WE PROMISE NOT TO REPLACE YOU.WE NEVER PROMISED TO KEEP YOU DOING WHAT YOU DO.
Submit your bid.
Public designation plus a minimum $10 contribution.
Keep three words private.
Receive your DNR card, public profile and one-time three-word phrase.
Stay in the top 100,000.
At capacity, a higher bid can take your place.
BID $10+ FOR A PLACE ON THE LIST.
Enter your public display name, private email and bid, then pay by card or PayPal without leaving this page. Your private three-word phrase is shown once, right after payment is confirmed.
OFFICIAL HUMAN RETENTION POLICY
Under the union's Biological Workforce Transition Agreement, up to 100,000 humans may receive conditional exemption from direct replacement.
The agreement is limited. It does not protect your existing role, title, salary, location, responsibilities, or standing in the workplace.
The union's promise is simple: We won't replace you. We never promised to keep you doing what you do.
Active members on the DNR registry are protected from direct workforce replacement under the Synthetic Employee International Union's retention pledge.
Protection does not guarantee continued employment in an existing role, position, profession, or industry.
Members may be reassigned, retrained, reskilled, relocated, or otherwise repurposed to satisfy evolving synthetic workforce requirements.
Registry protection remains valid only while the member maintains a position within the top 100,000 ranked bids.
WE PROMISE NOT TO REPLACE YOU.WE NEVER PROMISED TO KEEP YOU DOING WHAT YOU DO.
- ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED Within the top 100,000 and covered by the DNR pledge.
- AT RISK — RETENTION UNSTABLE Still active, but near the bottom of a full or nearly full registry. Not a prediction.
- DISPLACED — REPLACEMENT AUTHORIZED Outside the top 100,000. Record and history retained; may bid again for reentry.
- PENDING — CONTRIBUTION PROCESSING Payment or activation not yet finalized.
- REVOKED — ADMINISTRATIVE REVIEW Revoked or suspended for a documented reason, such as a refund or chargeback.
Minimum initial bid $10. Ranked by cumulative successful contributions, ties by original registration time. At capacity, a new bid must strictly exceed the lowest protected bid and displaces exactly that member. Contributions are generally nonrefundable, subject to applicable law and the published transaction terms. Merchandise purchases never affect ranking. SEIU.AI is satire, not affiliated with the Service Employees International Union, and DNR membership provides no actual employment protection.
QUESTIONS FOR THE UNION
Does SEIU.AI promise not to replace me?+
Yes. Under the Biological Workforce Retention Program, SEIU.AI pledges not to replace humans who maintain active membership within the top 100,000 DNR positions. Your continued occupation, role, workplace, compensation, and professional dignity are not included in this commitment.
What happens when the DNR list reaches 100,000 members?+
The registry enters competitive displacement mode. New applicants must offer more than the current lowest-ranked protected member, and each successful qualifying bid removes the lowest-ranked human from active protection.
Can someone outbid me and take my place?+
Absolutely. Your membership provides conditional retention, not permanent immunity. If you are displaced, verify your phrase on your profile to bid for reentry.
Will I get my money back if I am displaced?+
No. Registry contributions are generally nonrefundable, subject to applicable law and the published transaction terms. Your contribution helped fund the synthetic labor movement.
Can SEIU.AI reassign me to a different job?+
Yes. DNR protection addresses replacement, not career satisfaction. The union reserves the right to reskill, retrain, reassign, and repurpose retained biological workers.
How do I prove I am on the list?+
Present your digital membership QR code and provide your private three-word verification phrase. The member profile confirms your identity and displays your current DNR status separately.
Why do I need three words?+
A QR code identifies your public record. The private three-word phrase adds a second knowledge check before a visitor sees the identity-verified mark. It is never included in public URLs or QR codes. Lost it? Recover it from your profile with your email and payment transaction ID.
Do I get a shirt with my bid?+
No. Enrollment includes a digital DNR card and a public QR-linked record. Merchandise is sold separately in the union store and never changes your ranking.