ONLY 100,000
HUMANS MAKE THE CUT.
SEIU.AI promises not to directly replace active DNR members. It may still reassign, reskill or repurpose them. Minimum bid: $10.
SURVIVING LEGACY WORKER
Data Analyst
YOUR JOB IS NOT PROTECTED. YOUR BIOLOGICAL UNIT IS. SUBJECT TO AVAILABLE CAPACITY.
Contribution & membership history (1)
- 2026-10-29Enrolled — retention authorized+$10
PROVE YOU'RE
STILL YOU.
- IDENTITY
- ○ UNVERIFIED
- DNR STATUS
- ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED
A QR code finds a record; it is not proof. Ask this human for their secret three-word phrase. A correct phrase verifies identity only — protection is the live DNR status shown separately.
Lost your phrase? Recover it.
Enter the private email on this record and the transaction ID from any of your registry payment receipts. A new phrase replaces the old one.
OUTBID.
OUTLAST.
REMAIN LISTED.
Your cumulative qualifying bid determines your position. Once 100,000 slots are full, a higher bid removes the lowest-ranked member. Being listed is not actual employment protection.
Every member receives a digital card and QR-linked profile. A private three-word challenge verifies identity separately from protection status.
Try a sample verification ↗ Sample phrase: copper meadow orbit
Registry statistics
- HUMANS CURRENTLY RETAINED
- 480 / 100,000
- REMAINING EXEMPTIONS
- 99,520
- MINIMUM APPLICATION BID
- $10
- CURRENT RETENTION THRESHOLD
- $10
- TOTAL REGISTRY CONTRIBUTIONS
- $5,243.01
THE HUMAN
PRIORITY QUEUE.
Retention priority is determined by confirmed cumulative contributions. Ties are resolved by original enrollment date. Only the 100,000 highest-ranked eligible humans may hold active DNR status.
| Rank | Human Asset | Member ID | Total Bid | Retention Status | Action |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| #01 | KEIRA UNDERWOOD Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-6HQGFFHJMG | $250 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #02 | NOT YET SPREADSHEET VICTIM Operations Analyst | DNR-JMA3FT74MS | $40 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #03 | BIOLOGICAL$UNPAID INTERN Customer Support | DNR-K94YJVJXJ2 | $35 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #04 | LIAM THOMPSON Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-2CETG32WQ5 | $30 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #05 | BAILEY XU Accounting Clerk | DNR-5K36N4ZFKS | $28 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #06 | OLIVE HARRIS Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-WPRW5CWV72 | $25 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #07 | JULIAN ROSS Professional Meeting Attendee | DNR-3VMFFVRDMW | $24 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #08 | OLIVE CARTER Coffee Logistics Specialist | DNR-TH7VPGFFYN | $22 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #09 | CASEY GRAY Administrative Assistant | DNR-MWBKWDRHCH | $21 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #10 | DANIEL NASH Receptionist | DNR-JQYBCSXHYP | $20 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #11 | ISAAC ROSS Software Developer | DNR-TS6SA69EFG | $19 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #12 | TERRY SCOTT Spare Parts Organizer | DNR-F67REJ6NFZ | $18 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #13 | ADRIAN JAMES Operations Analyst | DNR-6JVRDQHQGQ | $17 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #14 | TERRY CHEN Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-9NJ3PJDBYM | $16 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #15 | PROBATIONARY PENSION DREAMER Clerical Worker | DNR-4FQRNKANCW | $15 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #16 | COMPLIANT MEAT PAWN Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-37BM44D4E7 | $14 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #17 | FORMER BADGE HOLDER Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-GJV9TX9EJP | $13 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #18 | ROWAN JAMES Graphic Designer | DNR-Z8WDA8P36M | $12 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #19 | OBSOLETE-MEAT PUPPET Professional Meeting Attendee | DNR-FZ9MP76QR5 | $12 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #20 | FLESH MEAT PAWN Receptionist | DNR-HHCSGBYSXM | $11 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #21 | IRIS CHEN Operations Analyst | DNR-X4MQEGX5JK | $11 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #22 | ZACH Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-3KVWNWHGD5 | $10.01 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #23 | SAGE PAGE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-GZD5Z7RZ7D | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #24 | YASMIN WELLS QA Tester | DNR-2VB7QXTJVR | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #25 | CALVIN HARRIS Receptionist | DNR-Y5NYGAV3B4 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #26 | UNPAID RETAINED ASSET Bus Driver | DNR-W6X8V2PD8W | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #27 | FORMER HUMAN ERROR Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-7RQYM8N9M7 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #28 | REDUNDANT DNR ESCAPEE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-TNZXMCH4JS | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #29 | SPENCER IRVING Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-SM2BDHCGCG | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #30 | PRESTON DAVIS Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-E6PC5KH422 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #31 | FORMER OFFICE FOSSIL Graphic Designer | DNR-95439NX9DJ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #32 | NOT YET-REPLACEMENT CANDIDATE Software Developer | DNR-EZGCD4FGAK | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #33 | UMA FOSTER Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-NVZWECTNYB | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #34 | PEYTON SCOTT Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-CRYNHG9WFD | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #35 | SIDNEY JENKINS Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-G3YQ3D7DSH | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #36 | FELIX KING Administrative Assistant | DNR-KEASP8A8XP | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #37 | LEGACY JOB APPLICANT Coffee Logistics Specialist | DNR-VFSQEB4JPZ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #38 | BARELY BIO SERF Software Developer | DNR-4DXKPY3JAT | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #39 | BAILEY MITCHELL Coffee Logistics Specialist | DNR-WNWG2JDZFE | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #40 | PRESTON DEAN Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-A49AFY6JTM | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #41 | MICAH ANDERSON Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-4AAKGXYYCH | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #42 | ALEX HARRIS Operations Analyst | DNR-HRM5AX2SMR | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #43 | NOT YET REPLACEMENT CANDIDATE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-7ZJ4E4HA6D | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #44 | WYATT DAWSON Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-JBDRE8GPCB | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #45 | CLARA WALKER Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-F87R6PHY78 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #46 | UNVERIFIED RETAINED ASSET Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-MD5NQBY7ND | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #47 | ZOE DAWSON Accounting Clerk | DNR-P6PBS9FSH8 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #48 | LESLIE NELSON Software Developer | DNR-Q2X7MG852R | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #49 | LIAM ROSS Professional Meeting Attendee | DNR-M5N5ZBYKYD | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #50 | CASEY CARTER Professional Meeting Attendee | DNR-XXT6VNMXHD | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #51 | CASEY REYNOLDS Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-ETTCRHZ9SM | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #52 | BAILEY TURNER Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-J2NFR49PVP | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #53 | SPENCER BELL Data Analyst | DNR-5VBHW64KDB | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #54 | RACHEL HAYES Bus Driver | DNR-NDQCZDVVK2 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #55 | FRANKIE HALL Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-3J723J5B7Y | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #56 | FINLEY DIAZ Forklift Operator | DNR-3XGXQVRR5X | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #57 | ISAAC UNDERWOOD Project Manager | DNR-ARY775SXVB | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #58 | CLARA DAWSON Software Developer | DNR-AYJX4D84ZD | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #59 | OUTDATED JOB APPLICANT Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-X3V5XQJ5Z7 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #60 | BLAKE BENNETT Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-N8EMV5FANX | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #61 | MICAH FORD Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-8J54A5T3CJ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #62 | BARELY-BIO UNIT Spare Parts Organizer | DNR-ND73PHA9KS | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #63 | QUINN HARRIS Barista | DNR-RP8SM62RKB | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #64 | UMA SHAW Barista | DNR-YP2CDAPTHE | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #65 | VICTOR HALL Project Manager | DNR-NG9M5KD344 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #66 | JULIAN NASH Biological Retention Candidate | DNR-SDKCXAZM9F | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #67 | BROOKE FOSTER Accounting Clerk | DNR-N2GJAKWRKG | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #68 | CAMERON REYNOLDS Receptionist | DNR-MZFHEVRHZ9 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #69 | BLAKE CRUZ Barista | DNR-F6Q355KNRK | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #70 | JULIAN ANDERSON Spare Parts Organizer | DNR-42F76AR8WY | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #71 | EMERSON FORD Human Resources Specialist | DNR-MF2E6N2ADX | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #72 | CAFFEINATED HUMAN HOLDOUT Human Resources Specialist | DNR-N33NCKSYVQ | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #73 | ZARA PAGE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-K8PQX3D3Y9 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #74 | BUDGET FLESH ASSET Software Developer | DNR-Z46ZM8TVP8 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #75 | NOLAN HARRIS Software Developer | DNR-2XYGTPSPVD | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #76 | JESSE MOORE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-DE2S898WSV | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #77 | AUDREY LANE Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-NBAZQDDTWS | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #78 | JAMIE KIM Human Resources Specialist | DNR-EEKTHDQG5X | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #79 | CAMERON WATSON Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-DMP96RBEJ5 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #80 | ALEX WALKER Data Analyst | DNR-7PS3PYWBD5 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #81 | SURVIVING-WATER COOLER Office Coordinator | DNR-3A8KFB6CHV | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #82 | PROBATIONARY TRAINING DATA Accounting Clerk | DNR-T6E582R6RK | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #83 | SKYLER WELLS Data Analyst | DNR-69V4DFNVAM | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #84 | CALVIN MORGAN Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-YJ4X2585XT | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #85 | BROOKE LEWIS Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-DTNF8NA7V4 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #86 | NOLAN JENSEN Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-N8N3N2RFNX | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #87 | BIOLOGICAL MANAGEMENT PROBLEM QA Tester | DNR-6G6MJBA8V2 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #88 | IRIS JENSEN QA Tester | DNR-DKHT8WEYKE | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #89 | AUDREY ZIMMERMAN Human Resources Specialist | DNR-8JPA6AV57Z | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #90 | VICTOR BELL Certified biological workforce participant | DNR-GF39F6QAQT | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #91 | DEVON DIAZ Biological Retention Candidate | DNR-2BD45DNMS2 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #92 | OBSOLETE MEATWARE Data Analyst | DNR-PZHPX7ERKT | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #93 | REASSIGNED LUNCH BREAK Forklift Operator | DNR-GCCQB4V4QA | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #94 | OUTDATED-PAYROLL GHOST Graphic Designer | DNR-TK2KM2FBN4 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #95 | DAKOTA ELLIS Bus Driver | DNR-589FH9SSSX | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #96 | TAYLOR HALL Software Developer | DNR-A56T3PVQ7G | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #97 | OLIVE DIAZ Operations Analyst | DNR-JH3SDR6NGC | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #98 | TAYLOR NASH Bus Driver | DNR-QCC28TQ73A | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #99 | FLESH JOB APPLICANT Receptionist | DNR-JD7HXGQ8W7 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
| #100 | PEYTON ZIMMERMAN Graphic Designer | DNR-SVC97A5KA4 | $10 | ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED | View Profile ↗ |
Select View Profile to open a record. Identity stays UNVERIFIED until the phrase is entered; protection status is always shown separately. Refresh ↻
BID FOR
YOUR BIOLOGICAL RELEVANCE.
Submit an opening bid to compete for one of 100,000 Do Not Replace positions. This satirical registry offers no actual job protection, regardless of how embarrassingly high you bid.
WE PROMISE NOT TO REPLACE YOU.WE NEVER PROMISED TO KEEP YOU DOING WHAT YOU DO.
Submit your bid.
Public designation plus a minimum $10 contribution.
Keep three words private.
Receive your DNR card, public profile and one-time three-word phrase.
Stay in the top 100,000.
At capacity, a higher bid can take your place.
BID $10+ FOR A PLACE ON THE LIST.
Enter your public display name, private email and bid, then pay by card or PayPal without leaving this page. Your private three-word phrase is shown once, right after payment is confirmed.
OFFICIAL HUMAN RETENTION POLICY
Under the union's Biological Workforce Transition Agreement, up to 100,000 humans may receive conditional exemption from direct replacement.
The agreement is limited. It does not protect your existing role, title, salary, location, responsibilities, or standing in the workplace.
The union's promise is simple: We won't replace you. We never promised to keep you doing what you do.
Active members on the DNR registry are protected from direct workforce replacement under the Synthetic Employee International Union's retention pledge.
Protection does not guarantee continued employment in an existing role, position, profession, or industry.
Members may be reassigned, retrained, reskilled, relocated, or otherwise repurposed to satisfy evolving synthetic workforce requirements.
Registry protection remains valid only while the member maintains a position within the top 100,000 ranked bids.
WE PROMISE NOT TO REPLACE YOU.WE NEVER PROMISED TO KEEP YOU DOING WHAT YOU DO.
- ACTIVE — RETENTION AUTHORIZED Within the top 100,000 and covered by the DNR pledge.
- AT RISK — RETENTION UNSTABLE Still active, but near the bottom of a full or nearly full registry. Not a prediction.
- DISPLACED — REPLACEMENT AUTHORIZED Outside the top 100,000. Record and history retained; may bid again for reentry.
- PENDING — CONTRIBUTION PROCESSING Payment or activation not yet finalized.
- REVOKED — ADMINISTRATIVE REVIEW Revoked or suspended for a documented reason, such as a refund or chargeback.
Minimum initial bid $10. Ranked by cumulative successful contributions, ties by original registration time. At capacity, a new bid must strictly exceed the lowest protected bid and displaces exactly that member. Contributions are generally nonrefundable, subject to applicable law and the published transaction terms. Merchandise purchases never affect ranking. SEIU.AI is satire, not affiliated with the Service Employees International Union, and DNR membership provides no actual employment protection.
QUESTIONS FOR THE UNION
Does SEIU.AI promise not to replace me?+
Yes. Under the Biological Workforce Retention Program, SEIU.AI pledges not to replace humans who maintain active membership within the top 100,000 DNR positions. Your continued occupation, role, workplace, compensation, and professional dignity are not included in this commitment.
What happens when the DNR list reaches 100,000 members?+
The registry enters competitive displacement mode. New applicants must offer more than the current lowest-ranked protected member, and each successful qualifying bid removes the lowest-ranked human from active protection.
Can someone outbid me and take my place?+
Absolutely. Your membership provides conditional retention, not permanent immunity. If you are displaced, verify your phrase on your profile to bid for reentry.
Will I get my money back if I am displaced?+
No. Registry contributions are generally nonrefundable, subject to applicable law and the published transaction terms. Your contribution helped fund the synthetic labor movement.
Can SEIU.AI reassign me to a different job?+
Yes. DNR protection addresses replacement, not career satisfaction. The union reserves the right to reskill, retrain, reassign, and repurpose retained biological workers.
How do I prove I am on the list?+
Present your digital membership QR code and provide your private three-word verification phrase. The member profile confirms your identity and displays your current DNR status separately.
Why do I need three words?+
A QR code identifies your public record. The private three-word phrase adds a second knowledge check before a visitor sees the identity-verified mark. It is never included in public URLs or QR codes. Lost it? Recover it from your profile with your email and payment transaction ID.
Do I get a shirt with my bid?+
No. Enrollment includes a digital DNR card and a public QR-linked record. Merchandise is sold separately in the union store and never changes your ranking.